#and they usually say something like 'well it's fine for the silly cartoon character to sing but when it's in a real mov-

[petr1kov]

i don't really mind people who dislike musicals since it has a very strong and very specific style that sort of lives or dies on whether or not you like the way the songs sound, but i do mind people who dislike musicals specifically because the concept of people singing their feelings out is too unrealistic for them to get behind. please work on your suspension of disbelief

[plleeeepppyyyy]

wally + clumsy and silly reader!

wally likes them silly,,

these are just little ramblings of wally with a silly reader.,,

_____

★★★ — ★★★★★★ ★★★★★★ — ★★★

you were always known around the neighborhood to be clumsy, you were always clumsy y/n! silly y/n, always tripping over everything. which made you frustrated, despite the others giggling and helping you out.

but, this really didn’t stop you from doing a lot! it made you happy that your friends could at least get entertainment out of your clumsiness. so, you didn’t mind much at times. you were always going around making others laugh, without having to break your head.

you were bouncing around, falling, then coming right back up. if anyone could describe you, you would be a bouncy ball.

as you did this, you noticed a certain blue haired fellow. wally, he was.. different. when you would look at him; you just see him staring at something. or remark about something. he was just chill, whenever you would be around barnaby. he was there. just looking at either the two of you. and for some reason, you felt embarrassed as you did a silly thing.

as if he was silently judging you and it made you feel stupid. nonetheless though, you kept your act up. wanting others to be happy. cause thats what you were, silly, clumsy, happy y/n!

so, one day, you were just strolling around, doing daily shopping and whatnot. till you tripped, for like what? the millionth time? maybe nobody saw it, right?

well, not exactly,,

wally just happened to be right in front of you, holding out his hand. which made you instantly nervous, i made how could you not? just looking up at him, with his usual intense stare, those doting eyes, admittedly it made you more embarrassed by the encounter. more embarrassed to be around him.

but, he didn’t laugh, nor tease you, he just held his hand out. calling out in his calm tone, asking if you were fine.

after stammering out a yes, he dusted you off and helped you out. to admit, you never talked to wally much before, have you? yes, you greeted one another, but imagining yourself tripping daily right in front of him was humiliating.

so, you kept your distance more than usual.

after he helped you out and went on his way, it made you feel a bit bad. for practically trying to ignore him, being too careful around him. you just couldn’t help it though! he was so calm, intense at times, maybe you could even say aloof. after that encounter though, you definitely changed your mind.

after many thoughts dawning on you, you decided to hang around him more often. and he drew you in more. he was just alluring,, soo cool, definitely relaxed. more than you usually were. you were tripping all over the place, just making the others giggle, and you were a bit dumb at times,, (sorry

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

just silly you were, wally definitely thought you were charming. you were just nice to watch, you would do your own thing, usually break a thing or too, he loved watching you.

he would usually be there to help you back up after you fall, watch you, and giggle at you at times. he didn’t want to lie, you were so charming. you really were like a cartoon character.

basically you guys started being attached at the hip, which was a great surprise to the others! they always saw you together nowadays, wally would just follow along while you were skipping around, missing a beat once a while as you talked and talked. while he listened without a care about anything else.

(basically you guys are calm + hyper)

during this period, wally DEFINITELY wants you to be his muse,, his inspiration. it doesn’t matter if you’re always moving , or bouncing your leg, or always bumping into stuff. he wants to paint you, sketch you, just,, to him you’re so fun to look and see. why not paint you daily? he definitely has an art portfolio of just you, ranging from sketches to paintings. it’s totallyyy not because he’s in love wit you.

he also finds himself staring at you 24/7, even if you guys are hanging out with poppy, julie, baranby, or anyone. he’ll just admire you more than he ever did before. back then, he would hum and watch you a bit as you did another silly thing. nowadays, when you would be fumbling with a straw for your juice, doing something silly, or just anything. it makes him kick his feet, it’s just so endearing, you’re so endearing.

it’s not only wally falling in more, it’s also you.

i mean, what’s not to love about wally? he’s so smooth, calm, he definitely is the type of dude whose got it all under control. he was just,, the opposite of you. maybe that was what attracted you to him, he just was elegant. at least compared to you, when you thought about it.

he was good at everything, he drew well, spoke well, walked well too. you weren’t that for sure, it was like he could guide you through anything. and you��d make it out okay. it made you feel better about your clumsiness.

hopefully by your silly antics and such, it would make it worth while for him.

wally notices on how much you try to make him happy, how you always offer to pose for him, give him ideas; always giving him stuff. it warms his heart to be honest, the fact you’re trying so much for him makes him feel happy.

later into ur guy’s relationship, you both def get comfy. a minute with you two and you already know something’s definitely going on.

cause you guys are just basically flirting at this point, well you can consider wally is, idk about you tho,, ur for sure doin something! (٥⁀▽⁀ )

but if we’re being for real, you guys def flirt. in ur own little ways, wally is pretty smooth when it comes to flirting. once in a while,, he’s pretty awkward with it, due to his,, tone at times. but the other times he’s good at it, like he for sure had some practice (≧◡≦) ♡

literally everyone around you two are just sick of it, you two think ur being sneaky with the flirting, nope! they’re basically bystanders wandering if you guys will finally announce that you’re finally an item!!

you for sure did something like,

“this ones for you wally!!(•̀ᴗ•́)و 🏀”

then the ball misses and launches back onto your head, bonking you sillier.

wally is charmed! ♡︎

it took a while for you guys to happen, wally for instance was actually a bit confused. it took him a bit to figure out what he was feeling, he found you silly, charming, cute,,

okay, maybe he thought you were something for sure.

while you,, poor you,, you just got nervous around him and NEVER would’ve talked to him about ur feelings. like., you just felt like he was out of your league.

but, you two eventually happened,, you did it! ( ˘ ³˘)

⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂

today was simple, just you, wally, and him sketching. you kept peeking over at what exactly he was sketching, it varied to be honest. apples,, a dog, or just some scribbles.

how could he just simply draw? so easily, while the best you could come up with was chicken scratch. nonetheless, wally was patient with you, he just accepted you. even if you didn’t do anything that impressive.

speaking of this, why did he do that? he just accepted you daily, he would just coo and praise you over anything. how he didn’t mind how much you tripped over something or bumped into one of his art supplies. now that wasn’t simple.

“uhm, hey wally?” wally perked his head up as you spoke up, putting his full attention on you. you felt a bit intimidated as he looked at you with those eyes of his. even if you two came this far, you always found yourself flustered by his presence.

“yes, darling?” he asked, keeping his usual smile up. you cleared your throat and spoke back, ��not to be too disruptive but.. i’ve got a question.” he watched you as you sat yourself on the grass. you could feel the spring air flow by as he looked at you with question.

“you’re never disruptive, but do tell. what’s got you thinking, y/n?” as you tried to get your words together, you sighed as you felt yourself get nervous. why did you get nervous? he was just your partner, why be so shy? god, if only you weren’t this flustered all of the time.

“uhm, okay so.. you know how clumsy i am? like, to the point where it’s my whole personality?” you drawled out personality, wally hummed. “well, i wouldn’t say that is your whole personality, but go on.” he said with sincerity, which made you cringe at yourself.

“it’s just.. why do you even like me? i just, i’m so.. stupid at times. i’m always fooling myself out while you— you’re just not that. you know?” you winced at yourself at your explanation, it was clumsy as you usually were.

wally paused for a bit, looking at you with an emotion you can’t really describe. maybe it was pity? concerned? you couldn’t really tell, sometimes whenever he looked at you, you just couldn’t say what he was thinking.

all he did was sigh and close his sketchbook, putting it beside him as he patted his lap. you knew immediately what that meant as you shuffled beside him, laying your head right on his lap. as you did so, he stroked your hair gently.

“now, why would you think about yourself like that?” he asked in his usual soft tone, “i think you’re perfect the way you are, not stupid.” wally looked down at you as he stroked your hair.

wally would never understand how you could think of yourself like that. to him, you were just perfect for him.

“well, it’s just— i.. i don’t know why you gave me a chance.” you mumbled out of embarrassment, wally looked at you with an amused expression. “remember that day when, we actually got to talk? when i tripped right in front of you? i tried so hard to stop that from happening. because, well, you’re the type of person. i don’t wanna embarrass myself in front of. clearly i didn’t do such a good job on that, huh?”

you kept your focus on your hands, not daring to look at him. you noticed how his hand stopped, he kept his hand right on your head.

“y/n.. why would that matter? i have seen you trip tons before.. and, plus, i don’t mind how much you bump, trip, or fall. i’m always there to help you back up, right?” he made you look up as he titled your head upward, “i think its charming.. not how you get hurt at times, of course. but, the way you keep getting back up after you trip, it’s.. well, its admirable. you’re admirable.”

you both paused as silence dawned on the two of you, it made you think. he really loved you, didn’t he?

“you mean that, right?” you asked, looking up at eyes he could never say no too.

wally let a soft chuckle out. “of course i do, silly. gee, you’re asking all of these silly questions.. i mean every,” he leaned down to kiss your head. “word. i promise.” his words made you smile, to the point where you could kick your legs and giggle.

“thanks, sweets. sorry, i’ve just been thinking a lot.” you hummed as you felt better about the whole thing. wally nodded and kissed your head again, keeping your head on his lap.

“but, besides that, what really drew you toward me?” you asked another question, wally hummed in thought as he stroked your hair some more. as if he was thinking.

“a lot of things.. but, it was cute seeing you do funny things. you were just a silly little neighbor to me back then, even still..”

“hm, that’s nice.. wait!” you quickly sat up, “what do you mean silly little neighbor?! could’ve at least said lover.” you whined as he chuckled quietly. “ah, yes. you’re right, silly little lover. you’re my silly little lover, right?”

wally hummed in amusement as you huffed, “guess so.. if you’re gonna call me something stupid you might as well make it less stupid.” wally shook his head and pulled you back to him, wrapping his arms around you.

“oh you, it’s not stupid.. and you definitely are the opposite of stupid.” he giggled and kissed your cheek, he definitely was feeling touchy today.

you couldn’t help but relax back into his arms. you were his silly little lover, his. and that made you okay with tripping daily, if it meant that.

as you closed your eyes and leaned against him more, he let out a little gasp. which made you jump a bit, “oh my, i gotta go give barnaby his microphone back..” he sighed and pulled you off of him gently, looking at his watch.

“you wanna come with, love?” wally asked as he grabbed his stuff, you quickly nodded. as he got up, he held his hand up. looking at you the same as he did the first time, admiration.

you took his hand without hesitation, you stumbled over a bit as you stood up.

he hummed in fondness, “you got it?”

“yep, totally!” you huffed in confidence, but after one step almost tripped over. you cursed yourself mentally.

“uhm.. how about i just hold onto you?” you sheepishly asked as you wrapped your arm around wally’s.

“not a problem with me, darling.”

★_________________________________★

(character and artwork belongs to partycoffin!)

okayy,, i made this a bit longer than i expected it to,, but thats fine. anyways i think i figured out how to open up my inbox! sooo,, if you guys want me to write more stuff about wally or anyone else. im up for it!

btw THANK U GUYS FOR ALL THOSE NOTES YOU GAVE ME LAST TIME (•̀ᴗ•́)ミ❤︎︎

[karlachismylife]

I woke up (was sleeping cuz I spent the night crying over fucking higher math, might go back to sleep for a little bit more cuz I don't wanna face the world and am still tired) and saw that my Russian words post was reblogged by a bunch more people I respect and look up to (that also happened in one previous wave of popularity that post gained a day or two ago). And like, first of all, I am intimidated by being perceived by people so way out of my league. Second, this definitely shows that there's a writing circle in this fandom of very talented writers and it's not that big. And while my ego definitely wants to somehow worm my way into that circle to be with the cool kids, I very much understand what a chasm separates my writing and their writing, so it makes me feel self-conscious about it again. Especially because I spent last days writing absolute silliness and all these people manage to write incredibly gripping, emotional and deep things. Like very psychological and smart and clever. And finally, I am a little scared to be seen on that scale and by some of those people, because they are so opinionated + well-spoken + have quite clear standpoints. And I am scared to be seen with my potentially problematic/bad/shallow character interpretations and very shallow texts. Cuz I won't be able to back it up substantially, won't be able to defend why I don't write deep enough/why I don't put in more effort/why I mischaracterize the characters so much. What if I actually wrote something problematic. I never intended to, but I might have just done not enough research and self-education. Or something. I don't know.

Obviously I am not actually visible on that scale, it's just one post with writing aid, none of my works reached those people. But what if. I am not smart, and I am immature, and I don't really have anything meaningful to offer. I am usually fine with this, like, I do believe there are also needed stories about raccoons being befriended through the power of cartoons and apple slices, or short fluff pieces with no plot other than two people loving each other and kissing. I am usually pretty comfortable in this niche.

But right now I just got such a strong wave if anxiety. And I know this is just a corner of the internet where no one even could name my full name and I have no chances of meeting any of you irl. But this is a place I want to belong to. I wanna be in the fandom, and I wanna be someone people know as, well, maybe the hyena CEO, or maybe as the fluff gorilla, or - my dream - as Karlach x Soap weirdo. Like. I wanna share what I have with people and be accepted. I feel so very grateful every time I get the feeling of being accepted from notifications, or messages, or asks, or anything. When people show interest and enjoy my things. I am anxious to lose it in case I turn out to be not good enough (which is the motto of my life). I'm pretty chill about being not good enough for many things, it's just facts and well, that's just me. But when it's about something I really really wanna be a part of, like the community here, this scares me, because this failure will hurt like a hundred others didn't.

I'm sorry for ranting, I might delete this later, I see the new asks guys and I will be trying to write something today, I just woke up and I'm a mess and it's not a real problem but it just made me cry for a moment. I'm okay, I'll be fine, I know I'm here to just enjoy myself and hope other people will too, so I'm not like going into hiding or anything. Just needed to say this, cuz whenever there's "fandom discourse" I am so scared I'm actually part of whatever problem people are discussing. And stuff. Yeah gonna go have a cup of tea and sleep a bit or at least lie down. I'm sweaty, temperature regulation is not a thing my body is good at, lmao.

Love you all so much, eternally grateful for all the love and attention I receive from you comrades. It feels incredible, today is just an anxious day.

[ajaxbell]

I watched Back from the Brink because I guess I just wanted more dramas about dragons? But I was pleasantly surprised.

I actually can't say why I started watching this. I remember when it came out thinking I wasn't interested. I went in with low expectations and feel pretty rewarded for what I got. Like a lot of cdramas this makes some pretty startling tone shifts if you're used to western storytelling. It has the same original story author as Love Between Fairy and Devil and I can definitely see some theme similarities between the two. Resurrection/rebirth, all consuming revenge as a source of downfall, the 'good' guys actually being the villains (to some extent, here it's more individual). But I wouldn't say there's much similarity between the two productions beyond the opening credits and the music.

Zhou Ye was amazing at the comedy and really capable competent character which was refreshing after the recent shows I've watched.

Back from the Brink starts of with pretty high level of slapstick, even as it's clear from the beginning that the themes are serious. The opening flashback is about heartbreak and deceit, but the the main story has a cartoon levels of slapstick comedy. The comedy resonated with me and was amusing rather than irritating as it can be when done badly. Though it did lower my expectations for the show overall. But the acting across the cast was unexpectedly good, even as some of the directorial choices were weird.

There was a lot of baozi eaten in this and I regret I did not get to eat any.

Things I didn't like:

I think one of my biggest complaints is that like 20% of this show is flashbacks. Not like scenes of things that happened before the present day story, but like replay scenes of things you literally just saw as recently as the last episode, or sometimes even in the same episode. Like I get the person is supposed to remembering or thinking of something, but most shows can depict that without showing the exact same footage over and over. Maybe it was supposed to somehow deepen emotional impact, but it sure didn't work for me.

And the main villain came across as petulant rather than scary or even really powerful, which ultimately detracted from the overall impact of the story.

The very end was a little weak, but honestly if the PRC would get it together and let shows depict reincarnation a lot of these plots would make so much more sense.

Things I liked:

The slapstick! Really something I don't usually look for or always even enjoy, but Zhou Ye did the comedy very well and Hou Minghao did a good job of playing the straight man against her hilarity.

The sets and costumes. All of them weren't great but the overall aesthetics were great and quite pleasing.

The second male lead had a good plot, backstory, did comedy well, and made me feel wistful longing. Usually I either hate the 2ML, or like him so much than the main love interest that I end up mad at the show (you know like The Wolf?).

There's a really charming subplot late in the show that was way too cute but like not TOO cute and it really kept me in the show as the plot twisted.

The main female lead was really competent, smart, but also silly and charming. It was nice balance, and definitely different than what I've been seeing in female leads recently (really the antithesis of the FLs in The Longest Promise and The Journey of Chong Zi).

The secondary cast was huge, all did decent to great work, and had their own good side plots.

I definitely enjoyed this but I was more entertained by it than I was really emotionally invested. I liked the story, and mostly liked how it was told (minus the repetitive flashbacks). I think Zhou Ye carried a lot of the emotional acting work of the main couple. Hou Minghao was fine as the dragon lord, pretty enough for it, and I'd even say his acting was good, but he didn't have the brooding intensity the role required. It did need something like a Wang Hedi as Moon Supreme type deal and it just wasn't there. And though it didn't diminish my enjoyment, it's probably what kept me from being really emotionally involved. Still I'd recommend it, though maybe as a palate cleanser between more intense dramas.

Even if I thought he lacked some keep element (gravitas?) he sure is pretty

[crossovernonshipstournament]

All right so I'm going to get the groupings done today and hopefully have the matchups posted by today or tomorrow, but before I get started on that I thought I'd take a second to lay out the etiquette I'm expecting (and what behavior I will be banning) from this poll.

So, unlike the Artificial Kids Poll, which leaned into the "we're taking the kids out for ice cream later" vibe, I'm not gonna come down super hard on trash talk in this one. But that doesn't mean that anything goes! Here's some ideas of what will and will not fly.

Things that are fine:

-Comically exaggerated threats. (Ie, "If my fave doesn't win I'm blowing up the moon!" This is absurd. You're being silly. This is Saturday morning cartoon villain levels of overreaction. I'm fine with this.)

-Playground levels of trash talk. (Ie, "I can't believe they crossed over Camp Camp and Bob's Burgers. Look, see? Little King Trash Mouth." Look, you wanna throw shade at the characters, go for it. They can take it. This is okay too.)

-Incentivizing people to vote against an entry. (Ie, "If this entry wins I'll never watch this show you all keep telling me to watch/if they lose I'll definitely watch it." You wanna hold your own interests hostage to your followers do what you want. This is also fine.)

Things that are not fine:

-Insulting the canon properties or the people who enjoy them. (Ie, "Pitting this media property that I really like and find meaning in against this random who cares media property is an insult to my favorite media property." Any media property can have meaning to anyone, and sometimes the submissions came from people who were trying to fix a bad media so aren't even fans anyway and wouldn't appreciate the implication.)

(AND YES I WILL BE HOLDING MYSELF TO THIS AS WELL. There's RWBY characters in this poll and I am going to be sitting on my fucking hands not to insult RWBY's bad writing or take my usual potshots at how bad cRWBY are at their jobs. Like, for example, see that <- That kind of thing won't be tolerated.)

-Comments about the characters' appearance that can potentially reflect on real existing people who share that trait. (Ie, Felix is cartoonishly thin and explicitly drawn to look like a grimy little shit-weasel; remarks like that are fine, but "He's so ugly, look at his stupid white boy haircut and his complete lack of an ass," are traits that potentially someone reading could possibly have. We're only looking to trash the pretend people, we don't want collateral damage over here.)

-Should go without saying but anything that counts as real world hate-speech (racism, transphobia, anti-semitism, misogyny, ableism, etc, etc, etc- if it feels like you're using my silly tumblr poll as an excuse to be a bigoted piece of shit, I'm blocking you.)

-Anything that invalidates a character's likeability as a character. (This one is purely vibes but a good example is the person on Artificial Kids who kept tagging a poll with their fave against Boyd with how much they hated him. This wasn't trash talk; this was genuine insulting the character and by extension his fans just for the crime of being against their fave. If you're getting this het up about a silly tumblr poll, you probably need to take a step back from online activity. Take a walk around your block or bake some bread or take yourself out for lunch. Something to settle your feelings idk. Just step away and calm down it's not that big a deal.)

TL;DR: I am allowing friendly ribbing and trash talk, but keep it in good sportsmanship territory. Your shade should not extend beyond the pretend people you're throwing it at. Are we all clear? This is a silly tumblr poll, it doesn't need to get that serious.

[clowninblackandwhite]

Rules /About

1- Don’t be a jerk, I don’t mean that your muse can’t be a jerk but you, the mun, don’t be a jerk or you will be blocked.

2- No Godmodding, I move my muse, you move yours. (remember, if you try to move L.j without my consent, L.j will NOT react well)

3- No smut (or even interact in general) if you are under 18, I will block and report if I find out you are doing it and nothing will change my mind.

4- There will be quite some triggers regarding death, depression and more… don't follow me if this bothers you too much, stay safe please.

5- If you have some kind of problem with our Roleplay, please let me know and we’ll talk about it, I want both of us to enjoy RPing.

6- I prefer to ship if there’s chemistry but I don’t mind plotting. (after all I’m multi-ship.)

7- Please read the About prt of this, because this Laughing Jack can be pretty much different from the “canon”.

8- I'm selective, meaning I might not start a thread with anyone, it has nothing to do with you, I just prefer this way, I'm sorry. please respect that. You can still send asks for L.J but don't expect to have an answer for sure (or that said answer will turn into a thread).

9- no hate of any kind, again, your muse can be an asshole but you, the mun, no. I'll block anyone who spreads hate.

10- don't involve me in IRL drama, just don't.

11- don't force ships on me and don't push me for replies, I could go from soft-blocking to hardlocking.

12- I can be really slooooooow, like…a lot, so please keep that in mind.

13- I'm not my muse, I shouldn't have to say this but it seems that it's needed.

14- you may know L.J for his creepypasta or you could know another version of him from another universe. But, NO, your muse doesn't know my L.J unless we have plotted this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Laughing Jack (once it was Rainbow Jack)

Age: He was “imagined” in 1800, so I guess he is pretty old.

Age Appearance: It’s hard to tell.

Height: 10 feet (tall boy)

Voice: pretty much similar to Beetlejuice from the musical. Just so you can have a generic idea.

Power: He has “imaginary” powers, similar to a cartoon character…a deadly one.

He usually uses all kinds of candies that he can create and shapes them as insects or similar.

He can summon puppets to fight for him and they are made by him after each victim he kills. And of course, L.J is Immortal.

Personality: He can be grumpy and strangely serious with someone he doesn’t know too well, but he can also be surprisingly funny once you know him a little. (still creepy).

Can be manipulative.

He hates children, it is something really difficult for a child to make friends with him after what happened with Isaac.

He will offer you a candy when you meet him if you accept the first candy he offers you, this means that he is “authorized” to kill you or at least try to make your life a nightmare, it is not something that always happens but I would not play with fate. If you say NO to his first candy, you’ll be fine … hopefully.

L.J loves prank (they can be as silly as dangerous) and if you are brave enough to prank him and clever enough to make him fall for your prank, there is a possibility that he will see you in a more pleasant way. (but depends on the prank you are trying to make)

Behind his creepy mask there is a deeply depressed clown..he still

suffers from his past trauma about being trapped inside his box for 13 years and forgotten by Isaac.

When he feels strong emotion (usually anger or sadness) around his eyes there will be shades similar to black makeup smeared by tears.

There are more headcanons and things to know about him, but feel free to discover them in our threads.

[jungshookz]

maybe, she can drive his car; mechanic!yoongi

➺ pairing; mechanic!yoongi x spoiledbrat!y/n

➺ genre; mechanic!yoongiverse!! sfw!! honk honk humour!! some suggestive behaviour because this is mechanic!yoongi and his y/n we're talking about!! the green-eyed monster inside of y/n is awoken after being dormant for so long and she's ready to bite some heads off

➺ wordcount; 11.6k

➺ summary; yoongi's ex is back in town for a visit and you'd be lying if you said you weren't slightly envious of a) how knowledgeable she is about stupid cars and b) how well she gets along with literally everyone.

➺ what to expect; "right, about that- i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before... you understand, don't you?"

➺ currently spinning on the record player; mustang sally (originally by wilson pickett, covered by andrew strong)

(unfortunately i wasn’t able to track down the original maker of this gif but this is where i sourced it from! all credits go to the original creator of course :-))

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

namjoon usually doesn't pay too much attention to you whenever you're hanging out at the workshop with everyone because of how often you're here, but there's something about the way you're acting today that even he has to admit is oddly very...

cute?

and it's not that you're not cute all the time (because you totally are!!) but it's just that the version of you today in particular is suddenly making him want to go off and find a y/n of his own

"whatcha doing?"

namjoon jolts in surprise when a grimy hand suddenly burrows itself into the warm bag of freshly-popped popcorn that he has cradled to his chest and he scowls before turning his body away slightly

"hey, you're contaminating the popcorn, man-" he huffs, quickly grabbing the mega-sized pack of hand wipes from the desk before plopping it down on the countertop for jungkook, "at least have the decency to wipe your hands before digging into my popcorn- also, i'm watching. duh."

"watching?" jungkook frowns as he sloppily wipes his hands on the front of his shirt, turning to look out the open door, "watching what?"

"yoongi and y/n." namjoon hums, popping a couple of kernels into his mouth with a crunch, "she's been following him around like a little duckling all day."

"mm." jungkook props an elbow up on the counter as he looks towards the two of you before clicking his tongue, "...he must've really given it to her good last night if she's acting like that-"

"okay, now you've ruined the moment-" namjoon frowns, his shoulders dropping slightly before he gestures to you guys, "it's sweet! this is obviously a wholesome thing-"

"call it what you want, but all i'm trying to say is that good sex makes you do crazy things-" jungkook snorts before aggressively shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, "cravy phings."

"i'd like to argue that good sex forms a strong emotional bond which explains why there are cartoon hearts currently floating around y/n's head-" namjoon perks up when he notices the way your eyes light up at something yoongi says, "look at her! look at the way she's looking at him!"

"oh, please." jungkook tuts, "that dopey look on her face is telling me that the only thing on her mind is yoongi bending her over the hood of that car and just ramming-"

"namjoon and jungkook are arguing again." you point out, turning to look towards the office just in time to see namjoon throw a handful of popcorn at jungkook only for him to open his mouth and chomp wildly at the air to get some into his mouth

"jungkook probably said something stupid, as per usual." yoongi snorts, leaning over to lock the hood of the car into place before pulling away and taking a look at the situation, "now, let's see what we have going on here..."

when namjoon told him that this was a brake master cylinder repair he immediately felt all the excitement leave his body

he hates doing brake master cylinder repairs

all the parts are so small and the handiwork is super tedious anD the last time he did one of these he took like four hours to get it done

overall it's a pretty boring repair job and as much as he wants to pass it off to one of the others to do, he knows that he's the most skilled with the internal mechanics of a car compared to everyone else which he usually likes to brag about but today he wishes that that wasn't the case

"so what do you have to do?" you frown, stepping over so that you're standing by the side of the car and you're not in yoongi's way, "all the thingies look fine to me."

"well, i actually need to replace the brake master cylinder thingy." yoongi teases, smiling lightly as he points at some kind of container, "there's a leak in the seals, which is pretty common since they wear out after a few years. it should be an easy fix! it'll just take a while, that's all."

luckily, taehyung already took care of the messy part and emptied the fluid from the reservoir for him so now it's time to start the actual repair process

"so does beeper have one of these cylinders in him?" you ask, tilting your head in curiosity

you've never actually taken a look at beeper's under the hood situation before so you wouldn't know

(it feels like he's all naked and exposed whenever yoongi lifts his hood up and you just want to give beeper some privacy, that's all.)

"if beeper didn't have one of these cylinders in him, you wouldn't be able to brake, silly." yoongi snorts, reaching down to unclip the sensor from the reservoir, "see, when you push down on the brake, it pushes a piston through the cylinder and forces hydraulic fluid through the brake lines, which goes to the slave cylinders of each wheel, and then-" he pauses when he notices you've gone all quiet and he turns to see you staring directly at him with a dopey little smile on your face "-what? what'd i say?"

"i like it when you talk shop to me." you giggle quietly, "i mean, i don't understand 98% of the words that come out of your mouth when you do, but i still like it a lot-"

"yeah?" yoongi teases, taking a hand off the edge of the car so he can gesture for you to come closer (and you do, obviously), "you like it when i talk to you about... hm, i don't know..." he feigns cluelessness as he stands up to slink an arm around your waist and bring you towards him while your arms automatically hang loosely around his neck, "how the rubbing of the brake pad against the brake disc generates friction..." he lowers his voice as he sits lightly on the edge of the car and gives your hips a squeeze

"mm, tell me more..." you play along, letting yoongi pull you closer so that you're settled nicely in between his legs

"i don't know, maybe i should save all the good stuff for the bedroom..."

you resist the urge to immediately start whining when you lean in only for yoongi to dodge your kiss, "hey, i like you in these baggy overalls, by the way." he suddenly changes the subject and you feel your cheeks flush when both his hands slide in through the gaps until he's able to grip your bum, "big, big fan of them-"

"you- namjoon and jungkook are right there-" you gawk, "at least have the decency to turn me around so they don't see you fully groping me-"

"they can always just close their eyes or something-"

"okay, you two, break it up-!" you hear namjoon's claps echoing from the office as he tries to get your attention and you immediately turn to look at him with a grin, "god, it's like you sick freaks want to rub it in our faces-"

"okay, i have to get to work so why don't you go and hang out with namjoon in the office?" yoongi stands up, being careful not to hit the top of his head on the hood, "he'll let you play chess on the computer if you ask nicely."

"i thought i was helping you out today!" you frown, grabbing onto his hand before waving it back and forth, "you said i did a good job handing you the tools and stuff. i'm getting better at not mixing all the different types of screwdrivers up!"

yoongi can't help but laugh at how needy you're being and he reaches up with his free hand to adjust his bandana

"i know you wanna help, but i promise you there's nothing exciting about repairing a master cylinder." he hums, reaching up to pinch your cheek playfully, "plus, don't you still have a huge research paper to work on?"

"yeah, but i'd much rather hang out with you..." you pout, yoongi cooing before leaning in to give your pushed-out bottom lip a little kiss

"we can hang out when we're both done with work."

"okay..." you purse your lips before letting go of his hand, "it's your loss. i'm a fantastic helper."

"mhm, you certainly are-" yoongi spins you around before pushing his palm against your lower back to get you to move, "now go and bug namjoon!"

you turn back to glance at yoongi one last time and he sweeps his hands at you to tell you to gO

fine!

it was getting hot in the garage anyway and namjoon always has the aircon blasting in the office

"sorry! only sad, single people are allowed in this area-" namjoon jokes as soon as you step in, gesturing to the office space with a grin, "leave or i'll have security escort you out."

"oh, stop it." you giggle, folding your arms up on the counter and leaning forward, "i keep telling you i'd be more than happy to set you up with one of my friends!!"

"i know, and that's very nice of you to offer, but i just want to find someone organically, you know?" namjoon sighs, leaning back against his chair before looking up at the ceiling wistfully, "being set up with someone doesn't feel like a natural process."

"namjoon thinks he's the main character of a shitty netflix romantic comedy." jungkook mutters, the two of you exchanging low giggles with each other

"well, if no one comes into your life organically you can always let me know and i'll- woah-" you jump in surprise when the sound of a roaring engine suddenly shatters the peaceful atmosphere and you turn around just in time to see a sleek car veering into the shop

you wince and raise a hand to shield your eyes from the bright headlights and you don't get a chance to make the first comment because jungkook beats you to it

(for the record, you were going to talk about how dramatic of an entrance whatever that was)

"oh my god. that is the sexiest car i've ever seen in my entire life." he breathes out, stepping away from the counter so he can stand by the door and get a closer look, "a 1965 mustang. nice."

"fun fact: i was actually thinking about getting a vintage mustang! i wanted an olive green one because i could've named her 'olive' which is super cute-" you nod enthusiastically, looking back and forth between namjoon and jungkook only for them to.,., completely ignore you and continue staring at the glossy mustang sitting out front

"okay, you guys, it's just a car-" you roll your eyes and let out a little snort of disbelief, "this isn't going to change your life or anything-"

a high-heel clad foot steps out of the car and onto the pavement and you immediately recognize the classic red-bottom louboutins

you actually own a pair of them as well but you rarely wear them out because you're always paranoid that you're going to topple over and snap an ankle and that would be completely mortifying

they're six inches tall!!!!

for the record, they look very nice sitting (collecting dust) on your shelf but now you're starting to think that it might be a good idea to wear them out again because this stranger makes it look like walking in them is easy breezy beautiful

"holy shit. is that lisa?" namjoon murmurs, reaching up to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "oh, wow. she..."

"i don't remember her looking like that the last time we saw her." jungkook whistles lowly, "hello, miss manoban."

"lisa- who's lisa?" you frown, tilting your head in curiosity as you watch this mysterious lisa toss her oversized sunglasses into the front seat of the car before slamming the door shut

"uh, she's just one of yoongi's exes- she actually used to work here but-" namjoon reaches over the counter so he can nudge you aside gently to get a better look, "when did she get a vintage mustang?!"

lisa leans down to look at herself in the side mirror, smearing some red lipstick over her pillowy bottom lip before rubbing her lips together and nodding satisfactorily

"guess her car-wrapping business really took off." jungkook hums, his eyes glued to the car

she seems to be moving in slow motion as she takes her hair down and shakes her head back and forth, the three of you tilting your heads at the same time as you watch her in awe

"car-wrapping?" you ask curiously, "she must spend a fortune on wrapping paper and giant bows-"

"no, obviously it's not actual wrapping- like-" jungkook huffs and you resist the urge to bop him over the head at how snappy he's being with you when he already knows you're clueless when it comes to this kind of stuff, "okay, you know how you said that if you ever got a g-wagon for yourself one day that you wanted to make it baby blue just like beeper and also matte? lisa could do that for you."

"oh! in that case, it might be nice to get a business card from her or something-" you make a mental note before shaking your head and turning back around to face namjoon, "hey, so, super casual, can we round back to the whole 'yoongi's ex' thing real quickly because i-"

"yoohoo, boys!" lisa whistles, grinning excitedly when she's suddenly joined by everyone outside one by one, "what, no one thought to roll out the red carpet for me?"

"c'mon, namjoon! let's go say hi to lisa and her vintage 'stang!!" jungkook grins, gesturing for namjoon to hurry before he's darting out the door, "lisa, hey!"

"yeah, okay!!" namjoon gets up from his seat so quickly that he sends his chair rolling back and smacking against the file cabinets, "oh, y/n-! if anyone calls, just send them straight to voicemail-"

"but i-" you don't get a chance to say anything before namjoon's brushing past you and dashing out the door as well

you don't know too much about lisa but obviously she's a pretty big deal around here

it'd probably be good for you to go and introduce yourself instead of awkwardly hanging out in the office by yourself

"hello, lisa. it's very nice to meet you. firm handshake." you mutter to yourself as you step out of the office and head towards the bustling group of boys, "hey, lisa! so great to meet you. firm handshake. hi, girlie-! nope, don't like that one-"

"-in town for business so i thought it'd be nice to swing by and visit my boys." you manage to catch the end of lisa's sentences as you join the boys, trying not to make any sudden movements to catch her attention

"you should've texted one of us or something!" namjoon pulls his phone out of his back pocket, "we could've ordered a pizza for lunch-"

you reach over to give the back of yoongi's jumpsuit a little tug just to get his attention and he glances over his shoulder at you before offering you a teasing smile and reaching back to wiggle his fingers against your stomach

you giggle lightly before swatting his hand away and he turns back to look at lisa

"well, i wanted to surprise you guys!" lisa chirps, tucking her clutch underneath her armpit before clapping her hands together, "i see nothing's changed around here... except for..." you feel your heart drop when she suddenly leans over and looks directly at you, "hello! i don't think we've ever met."

"oh, shoot- sorry, i should've introduced you sooner-" yoongi steps aside so that he isn't blocking you, "lisa, this is y/n! y/n, this is lisa." he smiles, gesturing towards lisa, "my girlfriend." he pauses and quickly shakes his head at his little flub-up, "i mean- lisa, this is y/n, my girlfriend-"

"he's definitely gonna pay for that later." jimin mutters, jungkook snickering before nudging at his side to get him to shut up

"it's super nice to meet you, y/n!" lisa doesn't acknowledge yoongi's error and she steps forward to get closer to you

she's practically towering over you but it's really just because of the stilettos

she turns her head to look at the boys and a second of silence goes by before they realize what she's asking of them and they all scatter in different directions

you give yoongi a look that basically screams S.O.S. and you resist the urge to burst into tears when he gives you a cheery thumbs up in return and trots off to go and do something else

okay

you'll be fine

you have nothing to be nervous about!

this is just yoongi's very hot ex who looks like a million bucks while you'e currently dressed like a giant toddler

it doesn't help that you're wearing what's commonly known as a 'baby tee' under these overalls

"you- yeah, you too-" you chuckle uneasily, giving her a weak handshake before pulling away with a smile, "i'm sorry, i'm a little underdressed-" you pause to gesture to the grubby overalls you have on, "i promise i look better than this most of the time..."

"oh, don't be silly. i just grabbed the first outfit i saw out of my suitcase and threw it on-" she sighs, reaching up to pick some lint off her blazer that you're pretty sure you saw in the most recent YSL spring catalog (in fact, you're pretty sure it's on your to-buy list), "so, what do you do?"

"me? i- uh, well, nothing, at the moment- i'm still studying for my undergraduate degree, so..." you shrug sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

for some reason you can't seem to maintain eye contact with her for more than three seconds at a time

"oh! you're still in school?"

"yeah, i- well, i'm graduating this year, so i'm almost out of school if you think about it that way- but yes. yes, i... am currently a university student, so that's what i'm doing."

"mm, cute! what are you studying?"

"history! i'm a history major and a marine biology minor." you nod, "so... the cold war and... like, sharks. something like that."

"ah, very cool."

to be honest you're not entirely sure if lisa's being sincere or not but you'll take the compliment either way

you can tell she's trying to scope you out - which is fair, because this is the first time you two are meeting and you're currently involved with someone she used to be involved with

"i'm sorry. i'm probably, like, freaking you out right now, aren't i?" lisa snorts, reaching out and placing her hand on your forearm for a split second, "i promise i'm just genuinely curious and i'm not trying to, like, interrogate you or anything. it's super nice to meet you! and honestly- i love the overalls. the little knee patches are adorable."

"oh, thank you..." you smile nervously, reaching down to glance at the mismatched patches of fabric sewn onto the knees of your overalls, "yoongi actually sewed 'em on for me! i usually wear this whenever i'm here because i'm okay with getting it dirty- i, um, i like your blazer! and your heels. and your purse- a chanel clutch is a classic!"

"ooh, someone has an eye for fashion..." lisa winks, raising her clutch and waving it slightly, "maybe after i'm done talking business with yoongi we can talk about gucci's new multicolour line-"

"oh, i have so many thoughts on gucci's new multicolour line!" you gasp, suddenly reignited with a spurt of energy, "honestly the colour scheme is very stabilo highlighters to me but we can talk about it later- i'll just be hanging out in the office, so you can find me there whenever you're ready-"

"perfect!" lisa gives you a thumbs up before pointing over to where yoongi is, "if you'll excuse me, i have to go and talk about boring things with yoongi-"

"mhm!" you watch with a smile as lisa click-clacks off towards yoongi before you spin around on your heels, giving yourself a mental pat on the back for how well you handled that interaction

lisa's actually nicer than you thought she'd be!

obviously the saying don't judge a book by its cover is very applicable here

"so... what'd you think of lisa?" namjoon joins your side before nudging you gently, "she's nice, right?"

"i like her! she seems really cool." you nod enthusiastically, pausing to glance over your shoulder to look at her from behind, "i need to ask her for tips on walking in those louboutins and how not to fall over."

"you know, i must say i'm pleasantly surprised at how you're handling this." namjoon snorts, holding back for a second to let you into the office first before he steps in behind you, "colour me impressed!"

"thank you!" you reach over to pull the lollipop jar towards you before suddenly pausing and looking back over at namjoon with a frown, "hold on a sec, what's that supposed to mean?"

"hm? oh, it's nothing." namjoon scrunches his nose, dismissing you with a flick of his wrist as he takes his seat behind the counter, "i just know that if i was in your shoes and my significant other's very attractive and very successful ex came back i would be a little antsy about it-" namjoon glances up from the computer and his eyes widen in panic when he notices that your eyes have widened in panic, "i- i mean- not that you're not very attractive and very successful- what i'm trying to say is that you have nothing to worry- you and yoongi seem like a very stable couple so-"

"do you think maybe you could tell me a bit about yoongi and lisa?" you interrupt his spiral and you feel yourself starting to get a little fidgety, "because i- i actually don't know anything about that situation-"

namjoon has a point, now that you think about it

lisa is very successful and very attractive and can walk in high heels very elegantly

and what about you?

yesterday you submitted a paper one minute before the deadline because of how much procrastinating you had done

and you haven't worn heels in forever because they just hurt so much

but lisa wouldn't complain about her feet hurting in high heels

lisa could have a hundred blisters and still walk into the room with a beautiful, red-lipped smile

"has he never told you about her?" namjoon frowns, "i feel like every couple should at least have one conversation about their past relationships."

"i think he tried to one time, but i- i dunno, you can't blame me for not wanting to sit there and listen to yoongi talking about all the girls he's been with, so i just changed the subject..." you mutter, pushing the jar away from you after pulling a strawberry lollipop out, "kind of regretting that decision now."

it's not like you have a reason to be insecure or anything, right?

your relationship with yoongi is very solid and there are certainly no trust issues or communication issues or anything of the sort

...

but he is your first boyfriend...,., and this is your first serious relationship which means you've had no prior experiences to learn from which means you're just going with the flow most of the time.,., so is it possible that you're being a little naïve right now?

"still, i don't think me telling you all the details of their relationship is a good idea because i feel like this is a conversation you should be having with yoongi-" namjoon chuckles nervously, leaning back against his chair before tucking a pencil behind his ear, "sorry, kiddo. i'm not trying to stir the pot here."

"i- oh, c'mon, joon- what's it gonna take, huh?" you reach into the front pocket of your overalls before subtly flashing a folded up hundred dollar bill, pursing your lips slightly as your eyes flicker back and forth between namjoon and your chest-money, "hm??"

"first of all, it's very concerning to me that you stash loose cash in your pocket like that. second of all, are you really trying to bribe me into telling you about yoongi and lisa?" namjoon asks incredulously

"what?! no!" you scoff, tucking the bill back into your pocket before pausing and raising an eyebrow, "...is it working?"

"no! in fact, i find it offensive that you think i'd be so easily swayed-"

"the next time i bring sushi for lunch, i'll get you your own mango shrimp tempura roll." you offer, namjoon staring at you blankly before he suddenly springs into action

"so, they used to sleep together, obviously." he clears his throat, "when lisa started working here, i kind of expected her to get involved with one of us and unsurprisingly it was yoongi, because... well, it's yoongi- i'm pretty sure it was a friends with benefits kind of thing because i remember asking him about it and he said they didn't want to put a label on it? and then at one point jimin asked lisa about it because all of us were super curious and she called it a 'situationship'... which, personally, i think is a pretty cheesy label- i dunno, they'd go out to dinners sometimes and occasionally they'd come into work together in the morning because- well, you know- uh, they were in this 'situationship' for... maybe, like, eight months? and then lisa got an opportunity to work elsewhere and she took it and they decided to call it off and fast forward to now... here we are!" namjoon claps his hands together before pressing his palm over his heart, "and i promise you that's all the information i have- well, maybe this piece of information might be useful to you: they were, like, super horny for each other all the time. like, almost outrageously horny, which i think is one of the downfalls of the relationship because you can't base a solid relationship off of animalistic sex, right? ooh, there was one time i caught them in yoongi's office and lisa was-"

"okay, i think that's enough-!" you hold a hand out to shut namjoon up and he shrugs before leaning back against his chair, "more than enough, actually-"

you weren't expecting to learn about the raw, animalistic sex yoongi had with lisa, but then again, you weren't expecting to even meet lisa at all

oh, god

should you be nervous??

you shouldn't be nervous, right??

...yeah, you're being ridiculous!

yoongi has been with other girls before and that shouldn't bother you because you didn't exist then

this has nothing to do with you!

so what if he bent her over the office table and-

okay, maybe it's time to stop thinking about this because the point is: you're fine. don't worry. everything is normal. yoongi is your boyfriend. lisa is his ex. everything is great!

"by the way, i want you to know that you honestly have nothing to worry about." namjoon suddenly chimes in as if he can read your mind, "lisa was yoongi's past but you are his present and most likely his future as well, so- seriously, don't even worry about it."

"yeah, you're right. it'd be silly of me to be upset about yoongi being with someone else when i wasn't even in the picture yet." you snort, reaching up to smack your own forehead gently, "okay! i'm feeling a little better. it would've been nice to not be informed about how horny they were for each other, but thank you for that detail-"

"yo, where are the snap ring pliers from my toolbox?" you turn just in time to see yoongi pop his head in, "i can't find them anywhere... i swear to god, everyone keeps borrowing my tools and 'forgetting' to put them back-" he rolls his eyes before looking over at you with a smile, "hi, baby-"

"hi yoongi-" you giggle, all your doubts and insecurities immediately fluttering away

see? nothing to worry about!

phEw

it feels like a weight's been lifted off your shoulders

"i think hoseok might've been using them earlier this morning." namjoon hums, "what do you need them for?"

"oh, lisa offered to help me out with the master cylinder repair and she needs 'em." yoongi points back over his shoulder, "you know how great she is with her hands-"

"woah, i thought-" your voice cracks slightly and you clear your throat, "i thought, uh- you were working on it yourself? like, i thought you didn't need any help and that's why i'm in here-"

"oh, i don't, but- well, lisa's good with fine-tuning so i might as well take advantage of her expertise while she's here." yoongi snorts before looking back over at namjoon, "you said hoseok had them?"

"yep!"

you bite down on your tongue to keep yourself from commenting any further

it's fine!

as we've already established, you have nothing to worry about.

...right?

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

"and... voilà!" you smile satisfactorily to yourself after you set the scented candle down on the coffee table

the living room is going to smell like warm brown sugar and cinnamon in a few minutes and you can't wait

this is yoongi's favourite candle so you hope he'll be excited about that when he gets here :'))

you've been preparing the apartment for his arrival and lighting the candle was one of the last things on your to-do list

you still have to order dinner for tonight and you've always been awful at making decisions so you figured it'd be best to let yoongi choose instead

you haven't seen him for about a week and a half because of finals (and, being perfectly honest, you were the one who implemented this distancing rule in the first place because you know you won't be able to focus on studying when yoongi's in the apartment with you) so you're pretty pumped for tonight!!

you hum to yourself as you click on yoongi's phone number in your contacts, flopping back on the couch with a fwump! while your legs swing lazily over the arm

"hello?"

the phone picks up after a couple of rings and it takes you a second to realize that the voice on the other end certainly does not belong to your boyfriend

"he-" you pause, pulling your phone away from your ear and frowning at the unfamiliar voice before bringing it back, "um, hello?"

"hi! who's this?"

"who's this?" you point to yourself before scoffing lightly, "what do you mean who- who's this?"

"oh- oh, y/n! hey, it's lisa!" lisa greets enthusiastically and you relax a little knowing that it's just lisa, "sorry, i didn't look at the contact name before picking up- what's up?"

"well, i-" you pause again to recollect your thoughts, "um, sorry, i guess i was just expecting yoongi to pick up his own phone so i'm a little lost right now-"

"oh my gosh, don't even worry about it! yoongi's hands are super gross right now so i offered to take his call for him which is why i picked up the phone. is there something you wanted me to pass along to him?"

"yeah, you could pass his phone right along to him-" you joke before reminding yourself to keep the unnecessary cattiness to a minimum, "yeah, um- can you ask him what time he's coming over? so that i know what time to order our food and stuff? i want the food to still be nice and hot by the time he gets here, so i just need a time from him, that's all-"

"yeah, about that... i actually don't think yoongi's going to make it for dinner."

"i-" you frown, pushing yourself up so that you're leaning back against an elbow, "what? why not?"

"the thing is, i hooked him up with a bunch of clients so the poor thing's been working like a dog all day and it looks like he's going to be stuck here for a while... if you're worried about him skipping dinner, i can totally go and get some food for him if you want! there's this sandwich place a block away and i know what he likes-"

your eyes widen slightly at how... happy? lisa sounds about the fact that yoongi potentially won't be joining you for dinner and you nod to yourself as you clench your jaw

"that's- that's very kind of you, lisa-" your voice is a little pitchier than usual at this point and you clear your throat obnoxiously, "i'm sorry, i just really have to talk to yoongi for a second so if you could just, like, hold the phone up to his ear that would be okay too-"

"okay! gimme a sec." there's a bit of shuffling on the other end and you press your lips together as you wait (im)patiently, "yoongs! it's y/n... dinner... hot food... her place... clients... pretty busy tonight..."

and she even has a nickname for him

that's just downright adorable, isn't it?

"god, just give him the damn phone." you mutter under your breath, raising your other hand to inspect your cuticles as you lie back down on the couch

hm

you should probably schedule another manicure soon

"-it's okay, i can hold the phone myself- y/n?" you perk up when you hear yoongi on the other end and you can't help but kick your legs in excitement

you can't help it!!!

you haven't heard his voice in a whole week and a half!!!

"greetings, yoongs." you tease, "what time are you going to be here?" you bypass lisa's whole monologue about yoongi probably not being able to come over tonight in hopes that she'll be wrong about him ditching you to continue working, "i wanna order the food so it'll get here a little before you arrive. also, i haven't chosen what we're going to eat tonight so you're going to have to choose for us-"

"right, about that-" yoongi clears his throat, "i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before..." he pauses and you hear the sound of loud clanging in the background, "you understand, don't you?"

it takes you a couple of seconds to process the fact that yoongi really won't be coming over tonight and you puff your cheeks out to keep yourself from immediately whining in protest

to say the least, you are.,.,,. very disappointed,.., but!! it won't be the end of the world, right?

you hate that lisa was right, but that's a conversation you can have with yourself another time

and if yoongi won't be here, that means you can hog all the garlic cheesy bread to yourself so maybe this is a blessing in disguise >:-)

"no, yeah, i- yeah, get it!" you nod, "i love that business is booming, i just don't love that you didn't text me or call me earlier to let me know you weren't going to come over tonight," you frown, turning your head to look at the flickering candle, "a heads up would've been nice, that's all..."

"i asked lisa to text you earlier when my hands were full... sorry, she must've forgot..."

"oh. yeah, i guess it could've slipped her mind." you respond dryly, "it would've taken, like, five seconds to text me-"

"okay, i-" you hear yoongi let out a small sigh before he speaks up again, "i'm sorry, baby, i really am- do you- i can come over now if you want me t-"

"no, it's okay! i'm sorry, i'm just-" you shake your head quickly before chuckling uneasily, "i just haven't seen you in a while so i miss you, that's all- but i'll let you get back to work now and i'll see you later?"

"yes! you are the best, you really are- look, i promise i'll be all yours as soon as i-"

"yoongi! these tires aren't going to change themselves, silly-"

"oh, c'mon-" you grumble, your teeth grinding slightly at the interruption of lisa's peppy voice in the background

"uh- yeah, in a sec-! i gotta go, doll- i'll call you later-"

"okay, b-" you don't get a chance to even say goodbye before the line goes dead and the only thing you can hear is an obnoxious beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep- "-ye."

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

one of your goals for the new year was to try your best to not hold a grudge

admittedly, holding grudges is one of your specialties so it's been a little bit difficult but you think you've been doing an okay job so far!

like that time jungkook accidentally drowned you with dirty car water because he didn't see you and also he had headphones on so he couldn't hear you

you were ready to strangle him right then and there but you just took a deep breath and reminded yourself that *~deep-cleaning services exist~*

and sure, you were a little upset that yoongi couldn't make it for dinner the other night and that the two of you haven't really had a chance to have a moment alone because of how swamped he's been with work, but... well, the past is in the past and challenges like this are good for your personal growth!

plus, it's the start of a new week so you're just going to focus on the present

you try your best to keep your footsteps as quiet as possible as you approach a preoccupied yoongi from behind

he's currently sorting out all the things to do on his giant whiteboard (you bought this for the boys because you thought it'd be a good way to organize all their tasks and unsurprisingly, namjoon was the most excited about it)

"guess who?" you hold your hands over yoongi's eyes with a giddy smile and he immediately spins around to face you

"hey, what are you doing here?" yoongi asks, leaning down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away to check the time on his watch, "aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"

"my history seminar was cancelled because my professor had some kind of an emergency so i thought i'd come and have lunch with you guys!" you hum, reaching over to fix the thin silver chain hanging around yoongi's neck, "i was going to pick the food up before coming here but i didn't want to just choose for everyone so i thought it'd be better to get everyone's orders first-"

"oh, you don't have to do that, baby-" yoongi shakes his head, capping the marker and dropping it back into the wire holder, "lisa actually offered to treat us to lunch- apparently there's some bagel place that has, like, a hundred different fillings-"

"lisa's here?" you interrupt, suddenly straightening your back before looking around quickly, "i... was not aware that lisa was... still here! i thought she was only here for a little while-"

"mm, she ended up extending her stay! one of her clients pushed their appointment to thursday so she came over to help out for the day."

"oh, cool." you nod, pressing your lips together as you take a second to sort through your thoughts

your nose scrunches slightly as you weigh the pros and cons of saying what you're about to say to yoongi

...

it won't kill you to ask, right?

"hey, i don't wanna, um-" you pause, "you know, i don't wanna... be that girlfriend, but... do you think that there's a slight possibility that lisa might still have feelings for you?"

a moment of silence goes by before yoongi practically barks out a laugh of disbelief

"what? lisa? no, no- that- no, don't be ridiculous." he snorts, shaking his head before turning back around to face the whiteboard, "lisa most certainly does not still have feelings for me- and, by the way, she was the one who broke things off with me, so if anything, i should be the one who still has feelings for-" he stops himself midway and presses his lips together before turning to glance at you over his shoulder, "you know, i'm hearing the words coming out of my mouth and i... am going to shut up now."

"mm, good choice." you raise a brow before shrugging, "alright, well, i just- you know, it's a possibility but if you say that lisa doesn't still have feelings for you, then i believe you-"

"alright, boys! it's chow time!"

you turn your head to see lisa waltzing into the shop carrying two large paper bags and the rest of the boys immediately rush over to her like moths to a flame

she brought bagels for lunch?

you're not trying to be biased or anything sandwiches are easier to eat, in your personal opinion

you basically have to unhinge your jaw to get a good bite of a bagel

"y/n!" lisa looks more than surprised at your presence when you and yoongi walk over the join the group, "i wasn't aware you were going to be here today- yoongi told me that you had class so i-" she pauses to set the bags down on the table, "oh my goodness, i am so sorry but i really didn't know you'd be joining us for lunch... yoongi, you could've texted me or something-"

"she just got here!" yoongi shrugs as he takes a seat at the table, "don't pin this on me-"

"ah, i probably look like such a jerk right now..." lisa winces, scratching the back of her head before reaching down to grab a bagel out of one of the paper bags, "here! you can take my bagel-"

"no, no, it's alright!" you hold your hands out before shaking them, "don't be silly, you don't have to do that- it's very nice of you to offer but i- it's alright, you go ahead and enjoy yourself!"

"oh, stop- take the bagel, y/n." lisa scoffs playfully, practically shoving the bagel into your arms before rummaging through the bags again, "i'll just share a bagel with yoongi! you don't mind, right, yoongs?"

"yeah, i had a snack earlier so i'm not, like, starving or anything-" yoongi nods, "what kind of filling is it?"

"this one is..." lisa pauses to look at the sticker on the top, "smoked salmon and dill cream cheese with capers."

"yoongi doesn't like capers." you chime in, suddenly feeling the need to prove to everyone that you know your boyfriend very well, "i remember they were sprinkled in a salad one time and he said they were too salty-"

"eh, i'll survive. i can always just pick 'em out." yoongi shrugs nonchalantly and you can't help but purse your lips in mild frustration at his response

"'atta boy! luckily, they're already sliced in half otherwise we'd have to take turns taking bites which would be weird-"

"agreed." you mutter, peeling the label off your bagel and sticking it onto the side instead

"oh, lisa! i was wondering if maybe you could help me out with some custom headlights i'm working on?" hoseok perks up, "i'm having some trouble getting the halo lights to work and i need your magic hands-"

"mhm! i can definitely check them out after lunch-" lisa grins, taking a seat next to yoongi, "anyone need a napkin?"

"yes, please!"

"i need one too-"

"pass one over here-"

you know it's silly of you to be feeling jealous over this because god knows the only thing you know about cars is that key go in and car go vroom so obviously the boys would never ask you to help them out with anything like how they're asking lisa to help out

and you're trying very hard to noT throw a self-pity party but it's getting harder and harder to not to that

(and it certainly doesn't help that there aren't any more seats left at the table)

you just can't help but feel so!!!!! inferior!!!!! compared to lisa

she's so cool and pretty and witty and obviously very knowledgable about cars

and what are you bringing to the table??

ham and cheese sandwiches??? fancy sushi rolls????

obviously not anymore because they've been replaced by these stupid bagels

this is the first time you haven't been able to throw money at a problem and you're not,.., sure.,., how you feel about it,..,

"i, uh, have to work on a paper, so i think i'm going to go and eat this in the office if anyone wants to come with?" you clear your throat quietly as you start to back away from the table slowly, "...or i can just go fuck myself, which is fine too."

you're not entirely surprised when your comment isn't acknowledged by anyone and you nod to yourself before swiftly turning on your heel and trying your best not to storm towards the office

you force your fists to uncurl and your shoulders to relax slightly but you can't help but make a face when you hear the boys laughing obnoxiously at one of lisa's jokes

of course she has to be funny as well

because the woman literally has zero flaws

you've been trying to find a reason to hate her and so far you haven't found anything negative to say

hating someone for having perfectly styled hair is a little odd

the legs of the chair screech against the floor as you pull it out and plop down

whatever

you like eating alone anyway

you unwrap the parchment paper and pick up the bagel before taking an overly aggressive bite of it, your cheeks practically bursting from how much food is currently in your mouth

you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as you chew, tossing the bagel back onto the wrapper with a thunk!

...

damnit!

this is the best goddamn bagel you've ever had in your entire life!!

"phtupid phriggin' bavhel." you grumble, reaching up to wipe the sauce off the corner of your mouth before swallowing roughly, "even the mayo is delicious! god, what is this? some kind of garlic mayo-"

"oh my god. i think she's finally lost it." you jolt upon hearing jungkook's voice and you turn to see him and jimin standing at the door

"what's your problem?" jimin asks, the two of them walking over to join you at your sad, lonely table

"what? nothing. i don't have a problem." you shake your head stubbornly, "i just- i just wanted to be alone, that doesn't mean something's wrong-"

"is that why you're in here basically yelling at a bagel?" jungkook points out as he pulls out a chair and sits on your right

"i'm- i'm just stressed about- my paper. or whatever. it's whatever, i'm fine-"

"you can talk to us, you know." you frown when jungkook suddenly reaches over and in an uncharacteristic move, places both hands over yours

"is it about lisa?" jimin asks, crinkling his nose as he sits down as well, "it's about lisa, isn't it?"

"no, it's not-" you press your lips together before letting out a light laugh, "you know, i don't even have a reason to be upset about lisa, right? she's super cool and very nice and knows a lot about cars and is yoongi's age and namjoon blessed me with the knowledge that she, apparently, was a very passionate lover- so i have nothing to be upset about!" you snap, slapping your palm down on the table before wincing and cradling your hand to your chest, "...everything is fine."

"i have to say, i really don't think jealousy is a good look on you." jungkook clicks his tongue before glancing down at your feet, "i also don't know if those shoes are a good look on you- jeez, it's like the people at gucci are just pulling design elements out of a hat-"

"you are not making me feel any better, jungkook- these shoes are new!"

"ooh, you should make him jealous!" jungkook suddenly lights up and the fluorescent light hanging above you guys flickers for a second

"we're going to have to round back to my shoes later because i really don't think they're that bad-"

"you should make him jealous and give him a taste of his own medicine..." jungkook trails off, ignoring your previous comments once again, "it's what you deserve."

"i'm not- i'm not doing that." you chuckle uneasily, "are you serious? this isn't high school and getting him back would just be petty of me-"

"but it'd feel so nice to be petty, don't you think?" jungkook encourages, scooting a little closer to you with a devilish grin, "think about it, y/n. don't you wanna see yoongi get all hot and possessive over you-"

"i don't think it's a good idea." jimin chimes in, shaking his head quickly as he moves in closer as well, "because if yoongi finds out you orchestrated something just to get him back, that might create an issue of trust in the relationship, and that would be very, very bad-"

"oh, but it feels so good to be bad..." jungkook coos, poking your arm with his pointer finger, "so, so good..."

"uh, i don't think so! i'd like to argue that it feels bad to be bad-"

"don't listen to jimin, he's a wuss-"

"don't listen to jungkook, he's an idiot-!"

"okay, cut it out!" you snap, shoving your hands into both their chests to keep them from coming any closer, "i... must admit, i do want to do something to piss yoongi off because of how much he's pissed me off, but... i'm not like that, you know? and i don't want to come off as some crazy girlfriend because-" you pause when you notice jungkook's finger creeping closer and closer to your bagel and you immediately deflate as soon as you realize what's going on here, "oh my god. you guys only came in here because you wanted to try my bagel, didn't you?"

jungkook and jimin exchange knowing glances before looking up at you sheepishly

"yeah, that makes more sense-" you snort, rolling your eyes before pushing the bagel away from you, "have at it, you animals."

you lean back against your chair, stroking your chin in thought as the sound of jungkook and jimin bickering over who gets the bigger half of the bagel starts to fade out

to be petty or not to be petty, that is the question...

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

(spoiler alert: the answer to the previous question is to be petty. very, very petty.) »»————- 🛠️ ————-««

"namjoon! where did you put my keys??" yoongi calls out, yanking open another drawer to rifle through its contents, "i'm supposed to pick y/n up from campus and i can't find them anywhere... i don't want her to just stand there waiting for me..."

"looking for these?"

yoongi looks up to see lisa standing by the door with his keys in her hand before she tosses them to him

"yes! you're a lifesaver, thanks-" he catches them with one hand before stepping out from behind the counter, "i thought you were leaving today? we already said goodbye to you this morning-"

"yeah, i know-" lisa chuckles as she steps into the office, "it's just that... well, i was going to just leave but i actually had something i needed to talk to you about before i left. i felt it wouldn't be fair to either one of us if i didn't say anything."

"mm. what's up?" yoongi hums, sticking his hand into the lollipop jar to pull a cherry flavoured one out

he pulls another one out before tucking it into his pocket (one for you when he picks you up!)

"well, i guess i should just go ahead and say it- just gotta rip the bandaid off-" lisa straightens her blazer before clearing her throat, "yes."

"...yes?" yoongi frowns, unwrapping his lollipop before popping it into his mouth and scrunching up the wrapper, "i'm not following. yes to what?"

"oh, don't play dumb-" lisa snorts, flicking her wrist at him, "yes, as in: i would love to rekindle our friends with benefits situationship-"

"woah, what?!" yoongi immediately chokes and he yanks the lollipop out of his mouth before patting his chest roughly, "what are you- what the hell are you talking about??"

"what do you mean what the hell am i talking about??" lisa stares at him incredulously before shaking her head, "you're the one who's been giving me secret signals all week-"

"signals-" yoongi's gawks, "what signals??"

"you know, like, how you cancelled dinner plans with her so you could be with me..." lisa croons, taking a step closer towards him

"i cancelled dinner plans with y/n so i could be with twenty cars-" yoongi inches to the side so he can make a quick getaway to run behind the counter in case lisa pounces, "which, i'm realizing doesn't make me sound like the best boyfriend but- i most certainly didn't cancel just to spend private time with you, no offence-"

"what about when we shared a bagel and you didn't complain about the capers??" lisa snaps, lunging towards yoongi only for him to quickly spin out of the way and hurry to get behind the counter

"uh, we shared a bagel because i wasn't hungry for a full bagel and i thought you weren't either, and also-" yoongi grabs namjoon's wheely chair as a makeshift barrier between him and lisa, "i'm a grown man, i'm not going to throw a fit over some friggin' capers-"

"how about when i squeezed your arm and asked you if you'd been working out and you totally flexed your arm for me??" lisa grabs the arms of the chair before yanking and aggressively rolling it behind her, yoongi's eyes widening in panic at the sudden empty space in between the two of them

"i flexed it to prove to you that i have indeed been working out-!" yoongi hops up onto the counter as soon as lisa darts towards him and he hurries to jump off so he's on the other side of it, knocking the phone and namjoon's pen holder down onto the ground in the process, "friends can ask each other if they've been hitting the gym!! i squeeze namjoon's arms all the time because his biceps are literally boulders-"

"i just feel like we have unfinished business, you know?" lisa whines, pausing for a second before bringing a hand up to bite down on the tip of her pointer finger teasingly, "plus, you have to admit that our sex was super hot-"

"are you- hello, i'm dating y/n!" yoongi gasps, "our business is finished! we have no more- we're out of business, lisa!"

"oh, c'mon." lisa raises a brow, clearly unimpressed with his reaction, "it's not going to hurt anyone to keep me as your sexy little secret- it's perfect! i only come into town, like, once or twice a year, so she won't even suspect anythi-"

"what are you- are you insane?! i'm not going to cheat on y/n-" yoongi chokes before raising his hands in defence, "lisa, you're a very beautiful woman and we do have a history, but- look, i'm sorry if i sent you mixed signals this week, that was certainly not my intention- please understand that i am very much not trying to cheat on someone who i love very much and who i'm pretty sure loves me back, so-"

"then who's that person she's so obviously flirting with right now?" lisa points over his shoulder, "also, she's barely visited you this week. what kind of girlfriend doesn't want to always be with her boyfriend??"

"first of all, space can be healthy, and second of all, she- hold on, you said flirting?" yoongi turns to look over his shoulder and out the door, tilting his head slightly when he sees you standing at the front of the garage laughing with... someone he certainly doesn't recognize...

"you can leave all of this behind and come and work for me, yoongi-" yoongi jumps when he suddenly feels hands grasping at the collar of his jumpsuit and he turns back to see lisa standing right in front of him (how did she move so quickly and quietly?!), "we can be happy together, i swear-"

"yeah, cool, just give me a second-" yoongi gently yanks lisa's hands off of him before hurrying out of the office and making a beeline right for you and this mysterious stranger

"oop- okay, he's coming this way-" baekhyun mutters, glancing over your shoulder before looking back at you, "it's show time. you ready?" he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

"what do you think? do we look convincing?" you reach down to unbutton another button on your blouse before adjusting the collar

it's taking everything within you noT to whip around to see if yoongi's just walking towards you or if he's storming towards you... because there's definitely a difference and you definitely want it to be the latter

the plan you came up with had a pretty simple formula: one handsome stranger + one flirty, oblivious y/n = one jealous yoongi

jungkook had a point about how nice it'd be to get yoongi all riled up and possessive and frankly you think you deserve it considering how dismissive he's been with you all week... which is why you were more than happy to recruit your very handsome friend baekhyun (he's very sweet / you met last semester in one of your history courses / he was more than willing to help out with your plan because he's a theatre major and this is good practice for him) to help you out with your plan!

"you're laughing like a robot." baekhyun lowers his voice, "i told you to act natural-"

"i'm being natural! ha, ha! ha! ha-ha. you're so funny, baek-" you giggle obnoxiously, reaching over to slap his chest gently, "you are absolutely the funniest person i've ever met-"

"y/n!" yoongi clears his throat loudly and you bite back a grin at the hint of annoyance you can detect in his voice, "i... thought i was picking you up from class today? i wasn't aware you hired a chauffeur!"

"oh, yoongi!" you spin around, feigning surprise as if you totally weren't expecting to see him at all, "oh, this is actually my friend- i know you've been busy so he offered to give me a ride!" you hum, stepping aside to let baekhyun step up onto the sidewalk, "baekhyun, this is yoongi-" you gesture to yoongi, "yoongi, this is baekhyun! ...my boyfriend."

you're hoping your accidental on-purpose flub-up triggers yoongi's memory of how he accidentally introduced lisa to you as his girlfriend and you're delighted to see the way yoongi's jaw drops slightly, "oh, my bad! i'm sorry, i don't know how that happened- what i meant to say was baekhyun, this is yoongi, my boyfriend. there we go."

"baekhyun..." yoongi repeats, his eyes narrowing slightly when baekhyun suddenly wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a squeeze "well, that's very nice of you to drive y/n all the way here. thanks for doing that, man."

"oh, it's no problem at all!" baekhyun hums, reaching over to pinch your cheek, "y/n's the sweetest and i didn't want to abandon her on campus-"

"okay, she wasn't abandoned, i was literally about to leave to pick her up-" yoongi points out, lifting his keys with a jingle before abruptly shoving them into his back pocket, "you know, y/n's never mentioned a baekhyun before. you two seem... close!"

"oh, baek and i go way back." you snort, digging your elbow into his side with a grin, "isn't that right, baek?"

baek

yoongi pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek at the fact that baekhyun still has his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you haven't made a move to shoVE it off

how can you not see that his intentions with you aren't just chummy??

he wouldn't have driven you all the way here if he didn't want to get his grubby hands under your skirt-

"we most certainly do! we made some great memories in that lecture hall- i have to say, i was, uh, pretty disappointed when i found out she was already in a relationship..." baekhyun sighs dramatically, shaking his head before looking back at you, "i would treat you right and never cancel dinner plans with you-"

"okay, i think it's time for you to go, bacon-" yoongi forces a smile on his face before reaching over to gently pull you towards him, "thank you for dropping my girlfriend off. have a good one."

"oh, no problem!" baekhyun points towards you, "hey, lemme know if you need a ride to campus on monday because i'd be happy to swing by your apartment and-"

"no, i can take her!" yoongi manoeuvres you so that you're standing behind him and basically blocked from baekhyun's sight, "i've got it from here, thanks."

"bye, baek!" you wave at baekhyun as gets into his car and he salutes at you before his right eye drops in a cheeky wink and it's at that point that yoongi really thinks he's about to lose it

what the hell was that?!

he spins around to face you as soon as baekhyun zooms off and you keep yourself from asking him why his ears have suddenly turned super red

"why are you wearing lowbuttons to class?" yoongi crosses his arms over his chest, "i thought you said you were going to use them as, like, apartment decoration."

"louboutins, yoongi." you correct, looking down at your slick stilettos, "and why can't i wear louboutins to class?"

"you wore them out to dinner one time and i ended up having to carry you back to the car because your feet were aching-" yoongi reminds you with a pointed tone, "are you telling me that you walked up and down and all around campus in those things?"

"maybe i did." you shrug, turning to stick your nose up in the air a little, "i can wear stilettos to class if i so please."

"and the miniskirt?"

"what, you don't like it?" you pout, reaching down to pick a piece of fluff off the surface, "it's new!"

it's a plain black skirt but it has a little slit on the side and you purposely bought this specific piece knowing that yoongi has expressed how much he likes you in black

"of course i like it, and obviously i'm a big fan of the heels but-" yoongi huffs, "all i'm saying is that it's a little odd- the timing is weird for your miniskirts and heels to make a sudden comeback now that you're all buddy-buddy with this backyawn-"

"it's baekhyun-"

"that's what i said!"

"you know, i don't know what you're implying here but i haven't done anything wrong-" you shrug, "are you feeling okay? maybe you need to take a nap-"

"stop being stubborn, y/n. just tell me what's going on!"

"nothing's going on!" you insist, raising your hands in defense before flicking a strand of hair over your shoulder, "everything is perfectly fine and nothing is-"

"are you leaving me for baekhyun?" yoongi interrupts, his eyes suddenly softening, "because if this is how you're telling me we're over, it's a pretty shitty-"

"what- what?? no!" you shake your head quickly, "no, of course i'm not- why would you even- okay, fine! fine, i-" you let out a breath and your shoulders drop a little, "it's just that... i don't know, it kind of feels like i've been fighting to get your attention for the whole week and i... i feel like i shouldn't have to do that as your girlfriend, you know? and i'm not... i guess i just felt like i wasn't stacking up to lisa and how cool and smart she is and- this whole week it's just felt like you're in a relationship with lisa and not me, so i... wanted to make you jealous to see if you still cared. or whatever."

"are you serious?" yoongi's eyes flutter shut and he reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, "fuck, i'm sorry, ah- i'm sorry, y/n, i really am-" his brows knit together in remorse as he looks at you, "i think i just got swept up in all the new clients she was bringing in so i was focusing more on that than on noticing what was going on with you... i'm sorry. why didn't you just come and talk to me about it?"

"i didn't know how." you mutter, reaching up to scratch the side of your head, "i've never had to deal with something like this before, so... i know it was silly of me to come up with this whole thing-"

"you are my girlfriend, y/n." yoongi reminds you, his voice softening, "not lisa. it's you." he reaches over to hook a finger under your chin so he can get you to look at him, "i promise i only have eyes for you, pretty girl. you still love me?"

"god, yoongi-" you feel your cheeks flush at the nickname and you roll your eyes playfully before turning your head, "yeah. duh."

"oh, you silly thing..." he tuts, pulling you in for a hug and propping his chin up on the top of your head, "i'm sorry, baby. i really didn't mean to make you feel like that..." he pulls away and reaches down to glide his finger down the bridge of your nose before poking the tip, "i hope you can forgive me for being a shitty boyfriend."

"i'll forgive you if you forgive me for pretending to flirt with someone else." you smile sheepishly, yoongi grinning before nodding in agreement

"deal." he wraps an arm around your shoulder as the two of you head back towards the direction of the office, "so you really went through all that trouble just to make me a little jealous?" yoongi grins, "just for a little bit of attention? as if i'm not already all over you when we're alone-"

"well, it worked, didn't it?" you take your bottom lip in between your teeth as you squish your cheek against yoongi's shoulder and look up at him, "my acting skills are not half bad, if i do say so myself-"

"oh, shit, uh-" yoongi suddenly stops in his tracks when he sees lisa step out of the office and he spins around so that his back is facing her, "not to make you worry, but you should probably know that lisa's somehow convinced that i've been secretly flirting with her all week because i want to become friends with benefits again and she almost, like, body-slammed me in the office- also, if namjoon asks, tell him a raccoon snuck in and that's why his desk is a mess and his pens are all over the floor-"

"wait, what?!" your brows knit together and you're about to lean over to look at lisa but yoongi quickly reaches out and grabs onto your shoulders to keep you in place

"-yeah, so i'm going to lay you down on the hood of that car now because doing something extreme is probably the only thing that'll prove to her that she's wrong and i am very desperate to show her that she's wrong-"

"lay me down on the- and do what?! yoongi-!" you don't get much of a chance to say anything else before yoongi's suddenly bending down to pick you up off the ground in one swift movement, his fingers digging underneath your thighs as he lays you down on the hood of the nearest car, "yoongi-! you can't just-"

"shush!" yoongi hisses, pressing his lips against yours to shut you up promptly

"mmvph-"

it doesn't take you very long to melt into the kiss once you realize you haven't kissed yoongi like this in like a week and a half and you can't help but smile at the familiar faint taste of cherry you're getting from him

yoongi's warm hand slides down from your waist so he can hitch your left leg up against his hip, one of your heels slipping from your foot and clattering onto the floor

your senses are so clouded with yoongi cherry yoongi cherry that you nearly forget the two of you aren't alone (and also, all of this is definitely being recorded on the security cameras right now)

"hey, so- i- i'm gonna get going-" lisa announces loudly as she stands at a good distance away from the two of you, her eyes looking up towards the ceiling so that she doesn't have to watch the way yoongi's kissing down your neck, "i have to check out of my hotel, so-"

"yeah, sounds good!" yoongi pulls away for a second and shoots a quick thumbs up over his shoulder, "see you later, pal!"

"bye, lisa!" you chime in, giving her a wave even though she isn't looking at you and is really trying to double-time it to her car, "it was so nice meeting you!"

the two of you watch silently as lisa practically leaps into her mustang, the sound of the engine revving before she quickly speeds off like she just remembered she left the oven on at home

you turn your head to look up at yoongi before scoffing lightly, hooking a finger against his chain to pull him back down towards you, "you're ridiculous, you know that?"

"yeah, i know-" yoongi's nose crinkles before he offers you a boyish smirk and a half-hearted shrug, "you love it, though."

🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true��(send me a request!) ✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!) 💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles like this one!) 🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)

[goatmilksoda]

All The Lessons I Never Learned

23. Costumes and Candy

Synopsis: Loki takes Thor out costume shopping and then Thor gets to wear his costume to daycare!

Word count: 1728

Stand Alone?: 1/2

Warnings: no warnings apply

Notes: Aside from an upload schedule change, no notes apply

Read it on AO3!

“Woah…” Thor said as they walked through the grocery store.

That wasn’t exactly accurate-- Loki was walking while Thor was sitting in the cart.

“Hm?”

“‘S a lotta Halloween.” 

“I guess it is.” Loki had gotten so used to it over these past years in America that he couldn’t help but feel as if it were totally normal. 

“Can I trick-or-treat?”

Loki hadn’t really thought about it. “If that’s what you want to do. Do you have a costume?” 

“No. I wanna be a big monsta!” 

“Like a dragon?” 

“No! Something scary!” 

“We’ll look at costumes in a moment. What kind of candy should we get?”

“Mm…” Thor hummed as he thought about it. “Chockate.” 

“The one with Kitkats or the Reeses?” 

“Kvikk Lunsj?”

“So… Kitkats. That’s what they’re called here.” 

“Oh…” 

“Yeah. This one’s a variety pack so you’ll get to try other ones, too.” 

“Okay!” Thor agreed. 

“I’ll let you try some when we get home if you’re really good.” 

That made the little grin. 

“We do need to go downstairs now though, so can you get out of the cart for me?” 

With a little bit of effort and help from Loki’s outstretched arm and stabilization of the cart, Thor was able to get out so they could go downstairs and take a look at the home and clothing section of the store, putting the cart on a track next to the escalator. 

Thor, of course, couldn’t help but try to reach into the cart and found it extremely interesting, and, against his better judgment, Loki let him, and only gave him a little tap on the shoulder to show him that the escalator ride was over. 

“Can I push?” 

“You wanna push it?” 

“Mhm!” 

Thor did push the cart for a second, before trying to step up and ride on it, almost making it tip over, and forcing Loki to weigh down the other end. 

There were lots of interesting decorations in the seasonal section for Thor to look at, but he didn’t seem particularly frightened of any, more just intrigued and curious if anything, even though he almost tossed a “haunted” jack-in-the-box toy on the floor after it surprised him. 

“Okay costumes… costumes…Ah, here we go, costumes for littles.” Loki sorted through the racks while Thor kept trying to perch on the front of the cart. “Brother, come look with me. I’m not shopping for myself.” 

“We should together costume.” 

“Hm?” 

“Like um, match?” 

Loki did give this idea much thought. “...Let’s see what they have first. Oh! Look at this! It’s a monster!” He had pulled out a blue fuzzy costume with horns and googly looking eyes which was definitely a monster, but devoid of being from any one specific brand or property-- extremely generic. “It’s very cute.” 

“I don’ wanna be cute!” Thor argued as he sifted through the princess dresses. 

“You could wear one of those. I’m sure you’d make a lovely princess.” 

“Silly Loki, no! I wanna be scary!” 

“Well that certainly narrows it down…” Loki hummed as he tried to find things that weren’t just “baby pumpkin”, “cartoon character”, or “doctor”. “You could be a pirate. Pirates are quite scary. In fact, we might be able to make you a zombie pirate.” 

Thor seemed quite intrigued by that idea, but quickly found a better idea. “How bout a skeleton?!” he asked, pulling out one that worked like footie pajamas. 

“Ooh, that’s terrifying,” Loki sarcastically commented with a smile as he took it, and checked the size, holding it up to the little, knowing that it could easily be repurposed for everyday sleepwear. 

“Yeah!” Thor laughed. “But Mr. Steve sayed no masks.” 

“That’s fine. I can paint your face for you.”

“Kay!” Thor grinned as Loki set it into the cart. “What about you?” 

“I don’t usually dress up,” Loki admitted. 

Thor frowned. “No, you gotta!” 

“Okay what should I be…?” Loki asked as he looked through the racks. “I’d make a good pirate.”

That made Thor laugh. 

“No? What are you thinking, dear brother?” 

“A kitty!” 

“Hm… No, that's a bit juvenile for me. Perhaps a vampire?” 

“Okay,” Thor agreed, while setting a mysterious third costume into the cart. 

“What’ve you got there?” 

“Mm… Taco.” 

“I thought you were being a skeleton.” 

He shrugged. “Skeleton taco.”

Loki raised an eyebrow before shrugging and setting the vampire costume he was looking at in the cart. 

“Why aren’t you dressed up?” Thor asked the next morning

“Grown-ups only dress up in the evenings.” Loki stated. 

That seemed to make Thor a little sad. 

“I’ll dress up when we go out.” 

“But we’re GONNA go out!” 

“Work has a dress code! It’s not about what you want, child.” 

Thor huffed and crossed his arms. 

“But, if you sit down I’ll put on your facepaint for you.” 

For the next ten minutes or so, Loki painstakingly tried to cover the preschooler’s face in paint, making the black and white illusion of a skull, and making Thor grin. 

“Your makeup’s good.” Thor told him after getting up from sitting on the closed toilet lid. 

“My makeup?” 

“Yeah. It looks good! Scary.” 

Loki looked in the mirror and frowned. He hadn’t put on any makeup yet today. 

Thor’s daycare was absolutely bustling today. Not that there were more littles than usual, but for 8:30 AM, it wasn’t as sleepy as it normally was. Usually it was quiet, with one or two littles getting excited to play a game with their friends, and an equal number crying and throwing fits that they needed to leave their caregivers, but today Loki and Thor found themselves in an incredibly loud and high energy space almost immediately. 

Thor’s eyes widened, but he didn’t seem overwhelmed, happily running in to join the other littles as Loki took note of the sheer amount of care which had gone into decorating the room and making it look nice. It even smelled like pumpkin-flavored frosting. 

“Thor!” Sylvie yelled, running up to the skeleton boy. “Lookit my costume!” she bragged. “I’m a vampire!”

“Loki’s a vampire, too.”

Sylvie looked at the caregiver. “Not a good one.” 

Thor giggled. 

“What’re you sposed to be?” 

“Um... a skeleton taco?” 

“Like with human pieces?!” she asked. 

Thor laughed. “Yeah! For big monsters to eat!” 

That gave Loki a moment to give his brother a big hug. 

“Don’t get eaten okay?” Loki asked. 

Thor nodded as if it were now his mission, and a very serious one he’d have to defend. 

“Okay. Well, I love you very much, and I’ll see you later, alright?”

“See you later!” Thor called after him before excitedly joining his teachers and classmates for circle time. 

Loki ate his lunch, once again, at the round table in the break room, waiting for his usual companion, only for Mobius to finally show up in a full, bright red, race car driver outfit. 

“What are you wearing?” Loki asked, trying to hide his amusement behind his triangularly cut sandwich. 

“Pfft. More like what are you not wearing? Where’s your Halloween spirit, man?” 

“At home waiting to go trick-or-treating with my little brother.”

“Well you did nail the corporate zombie look.”

“Hey!” 

Mobius sat down next to him and opened up his own lunch. “M’ surprised you didn’t put on more of a show.”

“Adults don’t dress up for work.”

“If you got a little you definitely do. Single, littleless, childless, adults don’t dress up for work.” 

“Well there’s no use in berating me for it now! Not like I can make it appear out of thin air.” 

“You’re right. I’m just playing with you, ruffling your feathers, you know… But um, I do have to tell you, Sylvie was wondering if you and Thor wanna come around for some dinner and trick-or-treating. The usual stuff.” 

“Trick-or-treating? In your apartment building?”

“No, I was actually thinking of driving up to Harlem. Those old brownstones give out some good candy and there’s a parade on the way there that Sylvie likes to go watch. Thought maybe Thor would like to come.” 

Loki hummed an acknowledgement. “Yeah, we’d probably be able to make that.”

“I haven’t even given you a time yet.” 

“Doesn’t matter. We’ll be there.” 

“Well I was thinking we could pick you guys up and we could get a fast-food dinner at 6-ish before going to the parade and trick-or-treating?” 

“Yeah, that works,” Loki smiled a little bigger than he probably meant to. “Definitely.”

Sylvie did not cut corners with her Halloween spirit. Thor had thought he didn’t, but that was apparently only by Norwegian standards. Sylvie had only ever known American standards. 

The daycare day wasn’t exactly a typical one. Not that the littles ever really sat down and had formal lessons, as they were kept to a play-based, preschool standard, but today was still somehow even more game and craft focused than usual, with a shortened circle time that focused mostly on “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”, the standard nap time, and “fall festival” stations set up throughout the classroom with face painting, fall crafts, not-so-fall-themed-crafts and carnival games where littles could earn fruit snacks, raisins, or small bags of chips because, as Mr. Sam had put it, they’d be getting enough candy later that day. 

Sylvie had argued that there was no such thing as “enough” candy. She also made a large effort to pull “pranks” on her classmates which ended up being… in line with her mental age of four years old today: “See? I gave you the blue marker, but you asked for the red!” and cue giggles. She also made a lot of fart noises. When she found some plastic bugs, she did her best to scatter them, with Thor’s help, around the classroom-- in the adults’ kitchen space, in the bathroom, on bookshelves, everywhere they could. 

Sylvie had also tried to play the “repeating everything someone says” game but ended up getting put in time-out for it. 

Even with that small setback, the day was nothing short of wonderful. 

They did pumpkin collages with ripped construction paper and read a story about “Spookley the Square Pumpkin” which led to a geometry activity, and Bingo with dot pens. It was all delightful, and before Thor knew it, Loki was walking in through the door to come pick him up and take him on the train to go home.

[adobe-outdesign]

How do you feel about fan service in general? I don’t see it as a bad thing, as it can be fun and silly when done right, but I think there needs to be restraint and things within the narrative should still make sense without fandom context, nor should the service be intrusive and out of place in the plot. Nostalgic pandering shouldn’t be the driving force behind everything or impede new ideas.

I like how it was done in the DHMIS tv series: the old teachers are there but feel right at home, and aren’t largely featured at the expense of the new elements and new teachers of the show, and it makes sense for Roy to show up in an episode called “Family” and his cameo in the opening is fun and appropriately creepy to spot in a show already full of fun and odd Easter eggs. His former villainous role is also necessarily toned down, despite its fan popularity, as the show proves to be bold and willing to introduce a new character and puppet master (and a human amongst puppets, at that!), Lesley, which I say has paid off judging by her popularity in the fandom!

As for a bad example of fan service and pandering…I feel like some episodes of the G4 MLP show may qualify? I dunno, it seems like the show just lost something to me as the seasons went on and some characters, like Twilight and Fluttershy, lost their quirks, presumably in response to adults complaining about the “audacity” of children’s cartoons characters not instantly getting over their flaws after one moral at the end of an episode in a show aimed at teaching friendship lessons to a young audience…and the brony fanservice always felt out of place to me, like all of the 100th episode and the alternate timelines in the Starlight Glimmer redemption episode just didn’t seem to fit the show’s tone for me and seemed unnecessary in the end? It could all just be me, I know a lot of people love everything about that show to bits.

Depends on the show and the context. It's usually fine as long as it's not overbearing or distracting from the main plot. DHMIS did it well, as all of the old teacher cameos are in spots where they make sense (like there's a computer in episode 4, why wouldn't it be Colin?).

[chaos-is-my-jam]

More Viktor headcanons because I’m trash for this beautiful man:

There are some Vik/V too... Hope there aren't many errors... anyways. ENJOY.

TIRED BISEXUAL DISASTER™

We know this already but this guy is H U G E - 6'3, whoopin' healthy 219lbs and bUILD LIKE A TANK.

I think he's around 48-52 years old.

"I can't, I'm old."

Look I know what I said about socks but hear me out... Vik 100% has a collection of those silly ties with cartoon characters like pokemon etc... he likes that blue one with cats best...

He knew V was special when he finished installing their first implant after they first met and shot him with "So, do I get a lollipop for bein' a brave patient, doc?" with that cheeky smirk of theirs... even if just for shits and giggles Vik actually gave them their lollipop the next time they visited his clinic. "Fine, you my fave doc now, won't go anywhere else."

He has Hamsa and evil eye tattoo on his left pectoral, Misty told him that it meant protection from evil and he thought it fitting as a symbol of starting his career as a ripperdoc - he saves lives after all.

Viktor smokes. Not very often, sometimes he can go several days without cigarettes but if the day at clinic is hard or gods forbid he lost a patient... he smokes like a chimney. By some mysterious coincidence he started smoking even more when V came along. I wonder why?

He genuinely enjoys V's company. He LOVES when they just sit at the clinic and talk or even just sit in silence. Their presence is really refreshing for this old doc.

Once Viktor, Misty, Jackie and V went to actually eat IN the restaurant. Misty and Vik casually sat and talked but, of course, Jack and V had a sword fight with chopsticks and Vik asked the waiter for two regular menus and for two menus for kids. After V called him "dad", "pops" or... wait for it... "daddy" for the rest of the evening, Viktor never made the mistake of going out to eat with V. Both V and Jackie still bring it up sometimes much to doc's dismay. Takeout is much safer option now.

Guess who is the one to always pick up horrendously drunk merc duo at 4am in the middle of the week. Yup. It's Viktor. Usually they wait for him outside, sitting on the pavement, arms on each others shoulders, singing love songs. Sometimes they burst in tears when they see Vik "coz youre the best friend I've had Viky", "yea, doc, there no other like ya".

Dad jokes. That's it.

UNGODLY ALCOHOL TOLERANCE. THIS MAN CAN DRINK AND DRINK AND DRINK AND SAY HES JUST TIPSY. Jackie? Under the table. V? Babbling something about "hopin' there is real afterlife" while hugging toilet bowl. Viktor? Checking if Jack still breathes and holding V's hair if necessary. "Amateurs" he thinks.

One of his most beloved possessions is a teddy bear. A gift from V. A they had put it "for caring for people around you and so you don't feel too lonely here in clinic and, well, for being you". Little fluffy fella has a special place in Vik's heart as well as on his couch right beside the boxing gloves.

No one keeps secrets like he does.

He takes GREAT pride in being the only person who knows V's real name.

Also he's the person who saw V at their most vulnerable. Bleeding, bruised, beaten, drunk, crying.

As true to their promise as they are, he thinks V's loyalty is amusing and rather sweet but also dangerous bUT V JUST WON'T GO TO ANY OTHER RIPPER. Found some new chrome somewhere else? They bought it and had it delivered to Vik's. Small repairs? Go to Vik's. Bleeding out somewhere in Pacifica? Go to Vik's. He swears he will strangle them himself one day.

Nicknames. Doll, Sweetheart, Champ, Captain, Big Guy, Charmer, Knock Out, Honey, Sweet pea, Cupcake, Pumpkin... I COULD GO ON FOREVER.

Usually it's Misty to find him sleeping on his desk but when it's V and Jack... well... let's say sharpie can be pain in the ass to wash off from your face.

Jackie got him pink gauges with daisies. As a joke. HA! Jokes on you Jack. He wears them. P R O U D L Y.

My man loves whisky. Nothing like late friday evening and a glass of liquid gold with ice.

Once, when V was keeping him company at clinic after he closed, he tried to be smooth (we all know the way he moves with that chair on wheels of his)... long story short he misjudged the distance from chair and he fell on his ass with a loud *T H U D*. He sat like that for some time. "Oh my god! Vik, are you ok?" "Yeah, yeah, just... give me a moment..." And that was the end of "Smooth Vik".

Officially Misty is his emotional support spiritualist. Unofficially V is his emotional support idiot merc, but also, like, the cause of most of his frustrations. JESUS V TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IS THAT YOUR ARM THAT YOURE CARRYING IS THAT ANOTHER BULLET WOUND FOR FUCKS SAKE HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE ILL KILL YOU MYSELF I SWEAR. Smeone just give him a hug please.

[beetlebumxo]

I Kind of Like Crazy (smut)

I Kind of Like Crazy (smut)

Pairing: Early 00s Damon x Reader

Word count: 3,916

Warnings: SMUT, language, the usual smut warnings... 

A/N: Based on "psycho" Damon from the Gorillaz Charts of darkness/Bananaz, also slightly inspired by the show "Ratched". Thank you to my friend Laura for this prompt/working out some of the ideas with me. As a backstory, (well, canon from CoD) Damon went "insane" as he claims he was "beaten up by cartoon characters" and ended up in a mental institution. This is the setting for the story.

--

It was his first day here, he had gotten into a fight before coming in. His face was scratched up, and a long white bandage was wrapped around his (presumably) aching head. 

"My name is Y/N, if you need anything just ask for me." I chirped while looking down at him. He was slumped in a chair, holding his head up with this hand, resting his elbow on the armrest. He was so intense, jaw clenched, staring down at the floor.

"Yea.." he said, barely raising his head to look at me. 

"Mr. Albarn.." I began as he lifted his head, barely moving his lips.

"Damon.." he mumbled in a soft, quiet voice.

"Damon… do you understand why you're here?" I questioned, trying to get a better look at him, but he only moved his head slightly towards me.

"Look, I've told you a thousand times…" His deep, tired voice was laced with frustration, I didn't want to push him anymore on the subject. 

"Listen, they're going to keep you here while the investigation is ongoing. There's a growing concern for your well-being, and I---"

"And you what?" He shot back, now looking directly at me through the long lashes that lined his blueish-green eyes. I straightened myself up as best as I could -- trying to brush off his somewhat rude response.  "And.. I believe you saw something. But right now I'm here to make sure you're ok, are you ok?" He just nodded.  “Ok, Damon, ok, just let me know if you need anything.” I said as I made my way out of the room.

------

(A week later)

Standing outside the building, leaning against the cool brick, I took a moment to take in the events that occurred over the last week.  Damon had finally taken a liking to me, or so I thought. He had this intensity about him and yet, he could be so silly and child-like. I had to admit I was very attracted to these qualities. He was so incredibly handsome, right down to the little cut on his perfect nose. The more I thought about him, the more I knew how wrong this was.

"Fuck, this is not good, Y/N, not good," I muttered as I reached for a cigarette.  

I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes, the warm smoke filled my lungs -- I slowly exhaled trying to let my troubled thoughts go.

"You know, smoking is bad for you." There he was again, batting his box of cigarettes in his hand. Damon removed one long white stick from the box, brought it up to his lips, and began to light it. 

“Wait, how did y---” I began, but Damon interrupted.

"I like to live a little dangerously, love." He smiled, holding the cigarette between his imperfectly perfect teeth. His grin suddenly grew a little wider. “And well, maybe a little bribery goes a long way?” 

He winked and grabbed the cigarette from between his soft pink lips, to now rest between his slightly bruised fingers. I loved his hands, they were truly just as gorgeous as his face--  a little dirty, ragged, with perfectly placed veins. 

He paused, shifting his gaze from his cigarette over to me again. "Tell me, why do you always do that?" He said, cocking his head to the side.

"Do what?" I smiled softly.

"Well, the way you.. kind of, sort of -- wrap your hair around your finger when you're nervous, the way you, uh,  bite your lip when you're unsure. The way you always have to make sure your skirt is pulled down low enough, because sometimes you're just a little insecure about that scar on your leg, yeah?"  

He smiled slyly at me. I squinted my eyes at him, somewhat flattered he had been paying such close attention to me.

"I see you've been studying me, hm?"   I curled my lips into a small smile, taking another long drag of my cigarette.

"Y/N.." he exhaled as smoke covered his slightly crooked bottom row of teeth.  "You're very pretty to look at, you know?" His eyes were focused on me. I felt heat rising to my cheeks, which were probably flushed by now. 

I cleared my throat --  "Oh.. thank you. You’re pretty easy on the eyes too." was the best I could come up with. I wanted to tell him how he'd been on my mind, how I couldn't stop thinking about him--, but I couldn't bring myself to do it-- that would have been completely inappropriate. 

"Who wouldn't fancy this?" He laughed while batting his long lashes. I could tell he was only half-joking -- he knew he was absolutely gorgeous.

“You are something, Damon.” I shook my head and laughed.  “I have to head back now, ok?” I really didn’t want to break up the conversation.

“Yeah, ok.” He said.

I turned to leave when he unexpectedly grabbed my hand. My hands began to sweat, my heart began to beat fast. I looked down -- his hands were big, his fingers were so long and beautiful, I loved how his hand felt gripping mine, even for that short moment. 

"I'll be seeing you, Y/N" he said with a smile. I smiled back --  this was trouble.

---

(The next day)

I tried not to let on how much Damon had an affect on me. I had to push the feelings down and keep this professional. Damon was sitting on his bed as I approached. I took a long, deep breath--

"Ok, I need to be a real nurse today and check how you're healing." I chuckled, bringing my hand to his chin to examine him. I tried to choke down all of my feelings and simply do my job.

"So, what were you on the other days, then?" He smiled a small devious grin.

My hand just barely touched his skin, but I could start to feel a slight tightness and warmth in my stomach again. He was even more beautiful up close - those blue eyes, that perfect nose -- and a smile that just melted my heart. I must have been studying him a little too long, I could feel his eyes on me. 

Just then, Damon lifted his hand to my wrist, moving it in such a way that we were now face to face.  Everything was happening in slow motion, as I stared into his eyes. He reached out pulling me closer, leaning into me, his lips inches from mine-- his warm breath on my face 

*click* -- it was the door handle. I jumped back, breaking the tension--it was only my colleague doing rounds. 

"I, I, I should go.." I stuttered as my heart and mind were racing. Damon just smirked at me, he knew exactly what he was doing. 

"Aww..." he teased. He looked me up and down again, I shifted my eyes quickly around the room. I didn't know what to say, the whole incident had taken me by surprise.  I walked back into the hall and tried to pull myself together again. 

--

(The following day)

I had success with avoiding him for most of the day -- this gave me more time to think about how to handle whatever this was. Oh, but he was so perfect. I let out a heavy sigh -- I needed to take a break to just clear my head. I made my way to the small back stairway. The door slammed shut behind me, echoing through the empty space. As I reached the platform, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Ahhhh what the fuck??” I yelled.

"Shh, shh, love it's only me." It was Damon reassuring me. His hair was slightly messy, poking out from the white bandage that was still wrapped tightly around his forehead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Ugh, Damon!” I looked at him angrily, but after a few moments my face softened “Oh....... fine. I can’t stay mad at you.”

“Few people can.” he winked.

“So let me guess how you got out..hmm..let’s see...” I placed my hand on my chin --   "You know, I’m going to just take a guess that you're not used to hearing the word 'No' very often are you?" I said with a small smile, assuming that he had charmed his way out again.

"You certainly wouldn't tell me 'No' now would you?" He now made direct eye contact with me, turning more serious and intense. 

"That depends on what you're asking --- Damon."  I gave in and reached out, playfully running my finger up his arm. There I was touching him again, I couldn’t help myself. I noticed his little slightly indented tooth as he smiled at me.  He grabbed my arm and pulled me close, my breath hitched.

"What am I asking? Oh, Y/N.." his voice cracked a little bit-- his tone was so dark, deep and sexy. I could almost feel the heat radiating off of his body as he leaned in close to my ear.

 "I've seen the way you look at me, and how you shift your body.." his lips brushed my ear "..when I do this" he began to run his calloused fingers over my hand.  I felt a jolt of electricity run down my spine, these feelings were too much--  "I mean, do you really think you could tell me, 'No' now?" He smiled a smug, overconfident smile. I felt pressure building in my stomach. I pulled away and looked into his eyes again.

"Mhm, you know, this is not very….professional. “ I teased.

Damon now had a devilish smirk across his handsome face. He backed me against the railing and ran his large hand against my cheek. He slowly leaned in and kissed me. Pressing his lips to mine I opened my mouth as he pushed his tongue in. I felt a rush, and a throbbing in my core. He held his hand against my jaw and continued to explore my mouth. I brought my hands up to his jaw pulling him into me, tasting his mouth on mine. The pressure was building up inside of me but at the same time, it was a release, as if this most basic craving for him was finally being satisfied--even if only briefly. 

"Too much?" He smiled. I stood there watching him, I wanted so much more. He smirked then clicked his tongue as he walked back up the stairs. What a tease he was.  I braced myself against the railing, breathing hard. "No…. no, it wasn't too much. Oh….. shit." I muttered, unsure if he could hear me.

--

I lingered against the railing for a few minutes, taking in what had just happened.  I took a moment to catch my breath before making my way back upstairs. My entire body was aching for him. My breaths began to quicken, as I thought about his lips, his hands, his body pressing into me. 

I made my way back to the office, it was very late now, almost everyone had gone home. I went to tidy a few papers before leaving, when suddenly, as if on cue, he was at the door--

“I couldn’t stay away, and I know you didn’t want me to.” He began.

"Oh, I don't know.." I smiled.  "But, what are you bribing those nurses with, again?" I teased. 

"Well, wouldn't you like to know?" He flirted back, leaning his tall frame against the door.

"And just maybe I would....could it be you're just one of those… naughty boys?". I didn’t care to keep this professional any longer -- he had pushed me over the edge -- 

He chuckled, closing the door behind him. He walked up to me pushing my back against the desk. As I gripped the side, he began to run his fingers along my hand and slowly up my arm. I could feel my body temperature begin to rise from his movements.

"Maybe I'll just show you what a naughty boy I really am."  Oh, the way those words rolled off of his tongue -- "Y/N…. I'm not actually crazy, but you are driving me completely insane." He said.

“I kind of like crazy, Damon. I need more." I purred. My next breath was caught somewhere in my chest, I could barely breathe feeling his body pressed tightly against mine. Pressing his long fingers to the side of my neck behind my ear, he stretched his hand out just enough to run his thumb very lightly over my bottom lip.  I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.

“Are you sure?”  He tilted my head up and began to leave a trail of small fiery wet kisses on my neck. "Like that?" My body was completely on fire now. All I could mutter was a breathy "Like that....." 

He shifted just attention back to my mouth, pushing his large tongue in so deeply. My hands slowly began to roam his sturdy, strong body. I managed to squeak out a few words as he pulled away for a moment.

"Wait--” I had a moment of clarity, before I was swallowed again by his charm. “Do you know how much trouble we would be in if we were caught right here?" I asked.

“I told you, I like to live dangerously.” he replied, grabbing my face with his hand pulling me closer to him while running his thumb over my lips again, this time smearing my lipstick all over my mouth and chin. I grabbed his hand and began to kiss and suck on his beautiful, long fingers, leaving small traces of whatever lipstick was left. He began to push his fingers in and out of my mouth, slowly at first, but then a little faster.  I could tell that he liked what I was doing to him as the bulge in his pants grew.

I grabbed his face, kissing him again, pushing my tongue back in his mouth, running it over his crooked bottom row of teeth --  I sucked at his bottom lip gently taking it between my teeth. 

He grabbed my hips with his large hands and sat me on the side of the cherry wood desk, the pressure from his fingers on my hips was almost too much for me. He brought his hand back up to my face and began to kiss me harder, slowly moving his lips to my neck as I carefully ran my hands through his hair.

My body tingled with nervous excitement as he began to unbutton my uniform, starting at the top, working his way down. His lips were back on me, slowly kissing my collar bone. I threw my head back, letting out a soft moan. I wanted him to devour me whole. 

He moved down to my chest barely grazing my skin with his teeth. He made quick work of freeing my breasts from my tight bra. Cupping my left breast he began to suck and lick at my soft sensitive skin. Running his thumb over my nipple, he brought his tongue to my right breast, slowly licking while squeezing my left. It felt so good the way he was paying attention to exactly what my body needed. I could only reply with another moan as I felt a wetness pool beneath my panties. 

He sat down in the chair and pulled me to the edge of the desk. He slowly pushed my legs apart revealing my completely soaked panties, and began to slowly rub his finger up and down over and over again. 

"Why don't you let me take care of you for a change, darling?" he said. 

“Yes.. please.. please...” I panted.

I felt him press his warm tongue against the wet fabric of my panties. Feeling his warm breath on my thigh, he began to slowly lick long wet stripes up and down my underwear. With the pressure of his tongue and the tip of his nose against the thin material that was so close to my heat, I only wanted him to remove the barrier between us and push his tongue in, but he only kept teasing me.

"Oh, Fuuckkk ...." I whispered, as I watched him continue to tease me.

He stood up and finally removed his shirt and unzipped his pants. Oh, he was so big I almost gasped at finally being able to see what he had been hiding from me. He stood against the desk and ran his long index finger along my panties but this time looping them around his finger and pulling them off. I could feel the cool air hit my wet core.

"Oh, just look at you." He hissed as he licked his left index finger and pushed it deep inside of me. His words alone were enough to push me over, but I held back. My body jerked back as he began to finger me.

"So good.." He whispered in a low voice, as he pushed a second finger in and began to pump them in and out. He muffled my moans by placing the fingers from his right hand in my mouth, while the fingers from his left hand were inside of me. I began to ride his hand hard while clutching onto the side of the desk. He rubbed my clit more and more with his thumb, pushing me closer to the edge. 

His hard cock was now directly against my wet folds as he stood between my legs, I wanted him to just finish the job so badly. He looked at me in awe, watching the pleasure across my face. I leaned forward pulling his face down to me, licking his wet lips. I lightly kissed and licked the little cuts and bruises across his beautiful face. I slowly moved my hips against his hard cock. "Mmhm," he moaned, trying to control himself as he began to buck his hips against my core.

"Fuuck, I want to be inside your tight wet cunt" he moaned.

“Please..." I begged as I thought about how incredible he would feel inside of me.

"Please what, love? Tell me what you need.". He moved his ear up to my lips. Fucking tease.

"Take Me. Fuck me…..  Ruin me." I said as I grazed his ear with my teeth, lightly pulling at his little hoop earring. 

“Ruin you?” he chuckled, pretending as if I had offended him. “I don’t know if I---.” 

Before he even finished his sentence - with one quick motion, he was deep inside of my wet, aching core. I let out a gasp as he began to thrust hard and fast, hitting my spot almost every time.

"Damooonnnn.. " I moaned. He pulled me up into a sitting position on the desk, pushing harder into me. I leaned into him, wrapping my legs tightly around him-- he began to pant and breathe heavy in my ear, while every now and then, kissing and licking at my shoulder. His eyes were dark and filled with lust, his breaths were quick and ragged.  I loved the sounds he made -  small little groans of pleasure. I gripped him, digging my nails into his burning skin, hoping to leave my mark. He looked so delicious, screwing his face up whenever I would clench myself around him as he buried his face into my neck.

"You feel..so.. incredible.." he said in between heavy breaths.  I bit my lip hard as I felt my stomach tighten again.

I felt him pull away, removing himself, causing me to let out a small whimper. His strong arms flipped me over, pushing me down, bending me over the desk. My breasts were now pressed tightly against the wooden surface.

He teased me again with his tip, running it up and down my wet folds, as he leaned forward, pressing me down, his large hands directly on top of mine, I felt a slight pressure from the weight of his body -- but I wanted to feel him so badly. I wanted to feel that force on me. He slowly began to kiss and lick my ear.

"Fuuckkk ---" was all I could get out before he slammed back into me again. I could feel his hands now gripping my shoulders, I felt him push his thumbs into my back-- hoping he would leave a mark on me, too -- I wanted to be his. Reaching his left hand over, he began to rub my clit harder and faster as he thrust into me. He was so big, and I was so wet. I could feel the edge of the desk rubbing against me, which made it harder for me to maintain control, it wasn’t going to be long. 

Damon let out a few low, sexy growls as he pushed into me -- it became too much. My orgasm hit hard.  I threw my head back as my whole body clenched and tightened. My legs went weak as I finally released all tension -- I could hardly hold myself up. Damon removed his grip and I pushed myself up from the desk. He was so gorgeous, his beautiful face was just staring right at me. 

“Oh, sweetheart, that felt good, didn’t it?” He smirked, while rubbing himself. I still wanted him, even after those intense waves of pleasure washed over me, I still really wanted him. He had such an affect on me.

“You really know what you’re doing, huh?” I managed to reply.

“I’ve had some practice.” he smirked again. “Mmm..now.. how about you help me feel good?”

I nodded. I would have done anything he asked me to. I laid back down on the desk, as he stood between my legs. I let out a few moans to try and entice him. “You are so fucking beautiful, tell me, where do you want it?”

I moved my hand to my stomach, I watched it rise and fall quickly with each breath. I was still trying to recover.  Damon began to rub himself harder. I watched as he threw his head back in pleasure. “Mpphh”. He moaned. It was so hot just watching him, knowing I was the one he wanted. His breaths became ragged as he reached the edge - suddenly his whole body jerked, as he released his warm, hot liquid on my stomach. He was breathing so hard. I was sitting up on my hands, leaning towards him. He reached out and pulled me close to his face, gently kissing my salty lips.

"That was.. everything I hoped it would be, love.” He paused.  “I just can't wait until I'm out of here."

I pulled back, looking him in the eye. "Oh..?" I said, not sure what he meant by that response. Damon could tell that I was a little concerned.

"Oh..” he chuckled. “Sweetheart, so we can do this all of the time, you know..?” His face was flushed and still slightly sweaty. He was so fucking gorgeous, I still could not believe what just happened. "I really, really want to take care of you. I want to do this properly, love. You deserve that. I want to make you feel so good. You're incredible in so many ways" he continued. “I want to be with you, if you'll have me.”

I grabbed his face, slowly running my thumb over his pink-tinged lips. His eyes were soft, he looked even more handsome, if that was even possible. 

"I would love nothing more...." I closed the space between us and brought my lips back up to his; I felt him smile. 

[year2000electronics]

Malcom Challender and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day

(just a little goofy ficlet set after episode 2 bc i wrote day 11 when i wasnt feeling very good about myself so i think my cool and awesome sona should be able to hang out with vils cool friends :^) )

The sun shone through the crack in Malcom’s windows, and he waved off the pigons that had somehow slipped into his apartment- as they often did, with his bird-whisperer of a roommate around. He swore it was like Player let them in on purpose sometimes. He squinted, avoiding the light as he transferred himself from his bed to his wheelchair, kicking the brake back in.

...Yes, he slept in his clothes. Don’t lie! You do it too, sometimes!

Malcom made his way into the kitchen, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. He pondered to himself where his housemates had gone off to, but he decided against questioning where they went. They were more active than he was, certainly- Player, when he wasn’t feeding the birds in some park, was off using his gym membership or playing bingo with some old ladies. Darnold was probably attaching rocket boosters to things that weren’t supposed to have rocket boosters.

And they were both video game characters that had become real.

God, Malcom’s life was fucking weird.

He could at least take the day to relax- after all, he didn’t have a stream until the weekend. Summer was right around the corner, which meant he could start using all his outdoor gimmicks for streams. Neo had even suggested doing a carnival stream! How would that even WORK?!

He shrugged it off. Malcom was sure Neo had some crazy ideas in his head, anyways. That was just how the dude worked.

Malcom’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud banging on his dining room window. His head jerked up in surprise when he heard some especially loud banging. Someone was… knocking on his window? From THIS high up?!

And it was…

No.

No fucking way.

That beautifully-styled curly brown hair. That signature sleazy moustache. That suave all-black ensemble. That surprisingly sleek ship they rode.

CAPITAL M?!

They said… well, they said something. Malcom couldn’t hear them through the window.

Both of them paused for an incredibly awkward while, until eventually, Malcom quietly rolled the window down.

“As I was SAYING. HELLO, GAMER BOY! AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE CAPTURED YOUR PRECIOUS FRIENDS!” Mothra shouted, cackling.

Malcom was… unimpressed. All there was were a bunch of birds flying around the ship, with some of them landing near Malcom in a panic.

“Why the hell are you BACK? And second of all, is this some kinda fucked up psychological warfare to say I don’t have friends?! I do have friends, asshole! I have good traits! I know cos my therapist told me!” Malcom shouted in a huff.

“Oh- No, these are- Okay-” Capital M fumbled, hauling a giant, futuristic-looking gun out of vil’s storage compartment. “So first of all, I was just at a resort. And some… people there got me back into the groove.”

“AND SECOND OF ALL!” He posed with the gun. “BEHOLD! MY GUN THAT TURNS PEOPLE INTO BIRDS!”

“AHAHAHAHA!”

“...Birds,” Malcom said in disbelief. He looked down at the birds currently waddling around on his table. They were… unremarkable. Of course they were, they were birds!

“Yes. Birds. It’s perfect cos Player will never allow it to be changed back. Ever.”

“Ever?”

“Ever.”

Malcom snorted.

“Yeah, well, what. Are you gonna turn every world leader into a bird so you can demand ransom or something?” He said flatly.

“That’s exactly it! PREPARE FOR A GLOBAL DEBT, MALCOM CHALLENDER!” Capital M proclaimed, pointing at him.

“That is…” Her face twisted into one of mischievous glee. “Unless someone were to… stop me…? Hmmm?”

Malcom sighed. “Dude.”

“We need to get you some superhero friends or something.”

“I am a TWITCH STREAMER. I have JOBS I do for MONEY. And I have NO POWERS.”

“PAH! You have your silly stupid power of friendship, don’t you?!”

“..Besides. I know for a fact you don’t stream today,” Mothra muttered.

“...Are you following me on Twitch…?”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, gamer-boy.”

“AND NOW I DEPART!” Capital M shouted, flying off and leaving Malcom with a lot of birds.

“Great. So, uh, who’s who?” He asked the group. “...Nevermind that, actually. No way to tell.”

It was just then his phone rang.

‘DO NOT ANSWER is requesting FaceTime…’

Malcom sighed, picking it up as a squished-together group of scientists took over his entire screen.

“Hey, Doc. Half of us got turned into birds by Capital M,” Malcom said. “You wouldn’t have anything to do with this, would you?”

The mad scientist’s face lit up. “Birds?! Oh, splendid, splendid! They really are coming back with a bang!”

“I’d GREATLY prefer it if they came back with a bang elsewhere? Maybe to the universe where people actually have powers? Like the admins, maybe??” Malcom shouted, as one of the birds let out an angry tweet.

The taller, purple scientist behind Doc guffawed. “Sorry, man. You’re the biggest dork here, so you’re easy pickings. Maybe vil just likes you.”

“It’s a great honour to have a nemesis, you know!” Harold piped up.

“AND HOW!” Doc and Sleepless both chirped.

God, they were all such a happy family. It was contagious. BLECH.

“Either way, I’m not smart enough to make an anti-bird gun. So can you guys PLEASE come over and fix this mess?” Malcom said with a sigh.

“I WOULD like to see how Capital M is doing… When we parted ways, it seemed like things were off to a good start…” Bubby mused.

“Yeah, they’re real excited about this. Just like usual, I guess,” Malcom said with a chuckle.

“Hey, is B’s service cooperating? Can we get him over too?”

The old man shook his head. “I’m afraid his feed was more like… a mosaic.”

“Damn that 2002 phone he has,” Malcom grumbled. “Oh, well. I’m sure you guys can help just fine. C’mon over.”

“Will do! We’ll bring the arsenal of weapons, too!” Tommy said excitedly.

“Like my new invention, BETTER TOASTER!” Doc yelled, holding up a toaster with mechanical spider legs and what looked like a flamethrower.

“Or the evil saxophone!” Sleepless said, and Malcom knew that was his sign to log off, as he cut them off mid-note.

“Okay, Malcom. Your friends are birds and your other friends are Saturday morning cartoon villains. Wonderful.” He sighed, sitting back in his wheelchair.

“And your OTHER other friend sure has a weird way of showing their appreciation.”

He laughed.

“Damn, I love being me.”

[poormeowmeowcollector]

Until The Terror Passes

Relationship: Loki/Reader (le Gif is m/f but the reader has no gender confirmed)

Warnings: nightmares, self loathing, fluff

Summary: Loki wakes up after a bad nightmare, and finds comfort in you

Notes: I was dared by @rorybutnotgilmore on this post and my Momma might have raised a bitch that's so lonely they're emotionally depending on fictional characters but not a coward. also, I promised some hurt/comfort to someone I've hurt too much (*cough* @lucywrites02), so here we are

Read on AO3

Loki wakes up gasping for air and letting out a loud cry, their upper body raised on a sitting position and cold sweat covering their ghosty skin.

Just a dream… It was just a silly dream.

But left him quivering from fear.

You hum and turn towards them, opening one eye and calling their name. He woke you up? Were they that loud?

"Is everything okay?" You don't even need to ask, you know it's not. Loki has learned to translate it to "I know you're not okay, but do you want to talk about it?", just to make things easier.

"Yes…" they hate how they sound, shaky and scared and weak, "Could you please give me some moments, please?" he sighs, failing to compose the voice. You nod and smile, not trying to reach out — a lesson you unfortunately had to learn when you went to hug him and he thought you were a monster that haunted him, still lost in the dream.

"Of course. If you need anything, I'll be right here for you, alright?" you remind them, as if they need to listen to it once again, as if you haven't proven it enough already. But, on nights like this, Loki needs to hear this again, and you know it.

"Alright…" he fails to smile and gets up, dragging his feet to the bathroom. They need a shower, to get rid of the cold sweat, but they have enough energy only to splash some water on them and change clothes. He takes his time, swinging between focusing on the cold water against his skin to distract himself and slipping back to those thoughts.

Their skin doesn't feel as sticky as before, so they carelessly wipe themselves clean and change. But he still has this odd feeling, the one that warns him that something will go bad.

You're still waiting for them, sitting on the bed very much awake. He keeps his face neutral as he sits on your side, eyeing you. "Love, it's late. You should be sleeping," they whisper, the whole thing sounding so wrong for some reason.

"Are you feeling better?" you ignore his statement and just ask, even though you already know the answer. Loki leaves a sigh and breaks eye contact. "It's okay if you're still afraid, you know. You're not to be judged for something like this," you reassure them, just like you say every time they're too ashamed of their nightmares.

"I know, darling, I know… but twas…" he doesn't dare end the sentence, or keep looking at you. Like you can read their mind, you move your hand close to theirs, but not invading their personal space.

"If you need anything, just say it," you remind him. Norns, how have you learned them so well?

"A…" he swallows and takes a deep breath, it shouldn't be so hard… "a hug would be nice, please," they whisper, raising their head to face you.

The sadness in your eyes is intense enough for Loki to believe he can touch it (you hate to show how much his nightmares affect you as well, but they do), and so is the sympathy. You smile and nod, widening your hand and offering your service as a teddy bear.

Loki smiles too, it almost hurts, and sits closer to you, hands hesitant around your body. Your hands, though, are around them like vines, almost as if you try to shield them away from anything harmful.

He doesn't realise when he turns into a sobbing and whimpering mess, squeezing you for dear life and hiding in your shoulder. You respond by drawing soothing circles against their back and whispering into their ear that it's okay, Loki, it's okay letting those things scare you, it's over now, you're awake, you're safe now, we're both safe now, everything will be okay. Again and again, trying to pin them into his head or cast them like spells and make them real.

The words are supposed to help them calm down, and usually work. Tonight, they just make them cry out more, not knowing if it's because they can't believe them or because they don't deserve them. Such a broken thing being with you, sucking precious sleep out of you just because he needs a skirt to hide in.

"Why…" another sob, Norns, they're pathetic, "why don't you… why don't you sleep? I can manage," he struggles to speak, proving the exact opposite.

"You don't deserve to go through this alone," you respond like you have the answer prepared. Bitter remarks and questions are already planning to go out, but they know that they will either make you insist or push you away.

So, he just stays there, suffocating you and weeping like a toddler until his body calls it a yield and decides to let him sit there in silence. Like every time, you wait until they say that they're okay before starting the "will we go back to sleep or watch cartoons until dawn" council. Before you can make the first question, he lies down and takes you with him, relaxing the grip so you can get comfortable.

"It's fine. I'm fine, just tired," he whispers. It's not exactly a lie, but you don't need to hear about their questioning whether it's just a nightmare or a vision of the future. And this specific nightmare is more than enough to make it worse.

"Okay… goodnight, love," you move a bit to get cozy, snuggling your nose near his throat and blowing a small kiss just where the green shirt is about to start.

"Goodnight, I love you," they whisper and kiss the crown of your head. Then, he stays still and closes his eyes as you slowly fall asleep against him.

They think about the nightmare again, but this time more logically. Or at least he tries, but this stupid paranoia won't let him. They have to cut off the train of thoughts and focus on their breathing before it's too late.

And then he notices how tightly you're hugging him. How you try to keep them grounded and here, even when asleep.

Even when he's unable to keep you safe, you manage to make him feel safe instead…

And this thought is a better one to fall asleep while thinking.

[ponds-of-ink]

SB One-Shot: “A Question of Candy”

This was that silly little Ness and Glitch/William thing I mentioned earlier today. Well, the completely rewritten/“second draft” version of it anyway. You can thank @partnersatfazbear for the theory that sparked this idea. Potentially major SB spoilers and accidental timeline/character derivations inbound, so it’s below the cut… Mainly for the spoilers.

Ness felt more like herself the further she walked down the hallway. It had been a peaceful morning, all things considered. W—er, Patient 46—did “her” usual therapy session while Ness kicked back and watched everything unfold some place in her mind. It was that therapist today. The valley girl-turned-mind expert wannabe. Well-meaning, but clearly inexperienced. “At least she brought candy for them to share,” Ness thought to herself as she entered her office.

Then, as she sat at her desk, her mind smacked her with a reminder: 46 never ate candy. Never wanted to, and probably never would. But… why? Her brow furrowed. Her green eyes shifted from the keyboard to the monitor. She turned on the computer and put her hand on the mouse. As soon as it loaded the main screen, she moved the cursor to a simple icon. A few computer clicks in, and she was in a chat room. Her fingers flew as she began a conversation. “So, how did it go?” she asked, adding a few special emoticons for good measure.

After some silence, a new message appeared. Through the glitchy mess, she could make out some words: “It was fine. No personal questions today. Just those ink blot tests again.”

“Don’t you think those things give her some answers? Like, she’ll understand you more through those?”

“Only when it comes to my… faults. My anxieties, my own issues. Anything beyond that is too personal. Thankfully, the ink blot shouldn’t give any of those away.”

Ness leaned back in her chair. Could she ask about the candy, or would that fall under being too personal? She pondered for a second, returned to her keyboard, then typed away. “Did you finally take some candy while she wasn’t looking?” she asked before adding a winking symbol.

“No,” her friend replied simply. “Those have too many calories.”

Ness blinked. “Why would you care about calories?” she pressed, more curious than before. “You literally can jump back to the computer at any time, and I can work anything off at the Pizza-Plex.”

A pause followed. Then, an ellipsis. “Let’s just say I’m trying not to go back to old habits,” the other replied.

“Old habits?”

Another ellipsis. Then, a tiny animation of a blushing cartoon bunny popped up on the screen. “Can you keep a secret for me?” the sender asked, probably as red-faced as that drawing.

“I have no idea who I’d tell this to, so sure,” Ness answered with a shrug. “Fire away.”

One last ellipsis popped up. Then, another quick image of that same cartoon bunny now nervously adjusting its bow tie. Ness was about to say something akin to ‘get on with it’, but another message came soon after. “I used to be quite the…erm… ‘chonker’, as I think you’d put it,” the bunny-lover admitted. “A few things factored in, but my sweet tooth must not have helped.”

Ness’ eyes widened. She pushed herself away from her keyboard. Her free hands covered her now-rosy face. “It’s true,” she muttered to herself. “It’s actually true. Of all the things I didn't think were real…” She snapped herself out of her stupor and tried to think of a good response.

Unfortunately, her correspondent was a step ahead. “Yes, it’s quite real,” it responded, catching her attention. “I think I might even have an old photo on public record to prove it. Something from the early ‘80s.”

“You’re seriously going to prove to me that you, of all people, were…?” Ness stopped before finishing her sentence. What was the right adjective to use here? Chubby? Plump? Rotund, if she wanted to mimic his vocabulary? She wouldn’t dare call him overweight. No, that’d be too mean. Instead, she ditched the adjective and finished with her own ellipsis. Surely, he’d get the idea.

However, he didn’t respond. Silence followed. “Guess he’s gone to get that file,” Ness shrugged, making the chat room disappear with a click of the mouse. “Time to clock in and get some work done.”

She opened a browser and really did start her shift early. Answering emails, helping tech support, checking in on the construction crew… All these tasks made her forget about that conversation for a good while. Minutes ticked by, and everything felt normal for once. She was about to move onto a more corporate chat room, but a pixelated ding interrupted her. Her eyes widened before she hurried back to the private area on her computer.

A black-and-white photo of two men standing outside a brick structure greeted her. The one on the left was shorter with a more muscular build, while the other on the right was taller but obviously looked like he had too many midnight milkshakes— built that way or not. Before she could inspected it further, an accompanying text caught her attention. “This is an image of Fredbear’s before 1983,” it read. “I want to say late ‘82 during its final construction phase, but my memory fails me. If you’re looking for me, I’m the one on the right.”

Ness looked back up at the photo. Her face flared up red again as she processed what he meant. That, technically, was what her “boss” looked like. Not some glitchy rabbit, but a living being. A… rather hefty one at that. She readied herself to reply, but another text stopped her. “By the way, I’m disappointed you didn’t finish your last question,” it read. “If you were wanting to call me fat, then you should have done it.”

“Wait, you don’t mind?” Ness questioned, raising an eyebrow as she tapped the words.

“When it comes to what you need to do, yes,” the reply came quickly. “Sometimes, you’ll need to say what’s on your mind. Express your emotions better. It’ll be a lot better than bottling them up, which is a mistake I’ve made often.”

Ness nodded slowly. “Well, how do you feel now?” she asked, thinking it a good idea. “Kinda embarrassed?”

“To be honest, a little,” her boss responded, sending the blushing bunny again. “No, sorry, a lot. There’s a reason why I prefer to leave that in the past. I’m sure you can guess why.”

“Yeah,” Ness agreed, fighting the urge to bite her lip as she typed. “At least I can imagine that version of you being ‘Patient 46’ while I sit back.”

Another blushing bunny, this time curled up like a loaf, came into view. Ness stifled a laugh. Unfortunately for him, she was already imagining this version sitting there beet-red at his own computer desk. When she finished fighting her urge to give into a giggling fit, she noticed that he had left the chat. Deep down, she could tell that he knew nothing could convince her to do otherwise. Hopefully, this wouldn’t come back to bite her later.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

ooh, you know how during spooky month, there's reruns of horror movies on tv? here's my request: hcs of s/o reader being super excited about these reruns and practically forcing their twst bf on a horror movie marathon, with my boys of choice being leona, trey, kalim, jamil and rook. thank you in advance uwu

“Back home, I never had the chance to see many horror movies. My little brother and sister were super scared of those, so even when we had the chance to watch something, it’d usually be a cartoon. Kids tend to enjoy colorful, bright things like that.”

Curiouser and Curiouser...

A horror movie marathon? Sure, Trey will sit through it with you, if that’s what you want... but he won’t let you sit through the entire thing uninterrupted!

If you think you’re going to stay up for 24 hours to watch reruns with Trey, you’d be dead wrong (haha dead wrong geddit?)! He’ll nag you to go to sleep at a reasonable time, and he’ll make sure you wash your face and brush your teeth while he’s at it!

He’ll supplement the snacks for the time when you’re watching! Chocolate-covered pretzels, homemade popcorn, and candy corn--there’s both sweet and salty stuff to pass around! 

Trey’s seeing most of these movies for the first time, so there’s plenty of moments when he tenses up or jerks back with fright, but he’s not much of a person for screaming. At most, he yelps!

Leona will agree to the marathon (if only to keep you from continuing to pester him about it), but he can’t guarantee that he’ll stay interested (or awake) for all of it!

He puts his head on your shoulder as the TV flickers to life. Leona tries to focus, but despite his best efforts, his eyes start to feel heavy in the middle of the first movie. You’ll have to nudge him to keep him awake--once he’s in dream land, you won’t be able to get out of it for a few solid hours!

Leona doesn’t care enough to pay attention to the details of the movies--not unless it involves something spooky and nonhuman, or a curse of some sort. He seems to be quite fascinated by the supernatural!

The most he reacts is through grunts and snickers as characters suffer unfortunate ends. He enjoys the spectacle more than the events leading up to any kills or jump scares.

Kalim eagerly agrees to join you! A movie marathon sounds like so much fun--and hey, it’s just like a sleepover where you... surprise, surprise, don’t sleep! You have to remind him to keep his elephants and peacocks at home this time.

He comes over with a handful of Scarabia students that help to lay out a dinner feast. (Kalim tells you it’s a gift from Jamil for “babysitting” the dorm leader for the night!)

Once the Scarabia students retreat, Kalim plops down and cuddles up next to you as the first movie starts! ... Unfortunately, that’s where the fun for him ends. This poor, sweet summer child practically screams and jumps at every little thing!  By the end of the first few movies, Kalim’s nearly on the brink of tears.

He tries to shakily laugh off his fear, but to no avail. Please reassure him that everything will be fine and that no one will hurt him! He’ll sob and sob in your arms until he has fallen asleep, lulled by the soothing sound of your voice.

Jamil begrudgingly settles in for the marathon with you. He’d rather be doing something else, really--he has so many chores to do, so many duties to tend to--but he can’t say no to you.

Like Trey, Jamil scolds you for watching too many movies in a row. He makes you take periodic short breaks to rest your eyes and stretch.

His poker face serves him well. Jamil barely flinches at any of the terrifying sights and sounds the movies present to him. He remarks on the executions of some parts, often a blunt remark about how fake or silly it looks.

Actually, the only things that actually manages to make him scream (quite loudly, in fact) and clutch onto you are scenes that involve bugs! Jamil stays paralyzed for several minutes afterwards, and he only relaxes once he is certain the threat has passed.

This hunter would love nothing more than to spend an evening with you. Oh, how his heart quakes with anticipation for a marathon filled with chills, thrills, and kills! 

Rook encourages you to cling to him if you are scared. He wants to make sure that you feel safe and secure--and if your shelter of choice happens to be in his arms, then he welcomes it~

He treats the horror movies as though they are beauty pageants, and as though he is a judge. Every time a monster or a gruesome sight shows up on the TV screen, Rook proceeds make a comment about it, followed by a score (usually 100).

He has a rather morbid sense of humor and takes everything in stride! Those horrific murders? Rook says he could get a cleaner kill in, and in less time! That vengeful spirit? Rook claims he could tame it. He’s all smiles and laughter the entire marathon.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 12

Day 12 - You meet your soulmate in your dreams every night.

Pairing(s): Romantic Remile, Romantic Moceit, Romantic Dukexiety, Past Romantic Dukeceit

TWs: sexual language, mentions of childbirth, Remus being Remus, swearing

--

Emile Picani knew something was up with his soulmate.

Their link, as almost all did, formed when they were twelve. And right off the bat, when his soulmate kept flitting in and out of sight, he knew their first meeting would be interesting. Emile had sat up from his dream bed to see a young boy with raven hair that shone a dazzling blue in the light, and pale skin adorned with freckles that stood out like stars in the night sky. 

So sue him, Emile was going through a poetic phase. 

He’d walked over to start up the conversation, “Soulmate! Do you, how do? My name’s-”

Was as far as he got before the boy disappeared. At first, Emile panicked; what happened?! Did his soulmate hate him on sight and wake up-

Oh, there he is.

The boy reappeared, taking in Emile as he looked him up and down with his mocha coloured eyes, “Oh, you’re still here, babes. Cool.”

Huh. Interesting response, but Emile trusted in fate, extending a hand again, “As I was saying before you got spirited away, I’m Emile Picani! What’s your name?”

“Nice Ghibli reference. I’m Remy Duke,”, he yawned, reaching for Emile’s hand lazily, “Nice to meet you. So like, you’re my soulmate? I’m like, not just dreaming?”

Emile shook his head, “Nope! It’s really me! I hope you’re not disappointed- Ah, sorry, my pops says I shouldn’t say stuff like that-”

“He’s right, you shouldn’t.”, was the blunt response he got.

Sensing that he might’ve made his soulmate uncomfortable, Remy elaborated, “My ren says you should totes avoid negative thinking. Like, if you keep thinking you’re disappointing me, you’re only gonna like, reinforce that idea. And being that anxious is not a good look on you, sweetie.”

Emile wasn’t sure what to think, but the advice made him feel… really happy, actually. His soulmate cares! He went to thank him, but Remy had disappeared again. Dang. Emile waited until Remy returned, humming to himself when he heard his soulmate’s voice again,

“Whoa, you like Steven Universe?”

Emile’s smile glistened with delight that Remy had recognised the tune of Independant Together, “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character!? Mine’s Steven!! But if I had to pick a gem, I’d say Spinel’s my new favourite!” 

Remy rolled his eyes, but Emile read the gesture as a fond one, “Cool.” . He figured his soulmate wouldn’t answer further but then Remy continued, “I like Buck Dewey. He’s totes underrated. As for the gems, like, there’s no question babes. Garnet’s the best.”

Thankfully, Remy was able to stay for the rest of the night until the two of them realised it’d be morning soon.

“Oh, before you go, maybe we should find out where we both live! That way we can-”

Remy shook his head, “Nah babes. Let’s make this fun. It’s like, way too boring if we make things THAT easy.”. He noted how upset Emile looked and took pity, “Tell you what babes, how about every time we meet, we both get one yes or no question. Make it a game. First one to guess where the other lives wins.”

Emile smiled, mirroring Remy’s playful one, “Alright then! Can I go first?”

“As long as you’re quick babes.”

“Oh, right!”, Emile cleared his throat, “Are you in the US?”

With a dramatic, yet monotone sigh, Remy retorted, “Unfortunately-”

“Remyyyy!”, Emile chuckled, “You’re breaking your own rule. It’s yes or no, silly!”

Remy rolled his eyes, but the sigh he gave had nothing but fondness, “Alright, alright. Yes.”. He stretched his arms, “Same question to you babes, you stuck in this crapsack of a country too?”

“Yes.”, Emile answered, “Unfortunately.”

The chuckle he got back from Remy left him with a smile on his face as he awoke that morning. Emile wasted no time in brushing his teeth and heading to breakfast with a spring in his step to tell his fathers the great news. 

--

Unknowingly just a few miles away, another young lad awoke and dragged himself lazily down the stairs where his father and ren were having one of their early morning romantic tension arguments.

“The knife’s the pussy option, Virge!”, his father Remus had chided, shoving a handful of trix into his mouth with his bare hand, “Knives don’t do shit!”

Remy’s ren, Virgil, massaged their temples in frustration. Going by the shade of their face being somewhere between embarrassed tomato and devil’s asscrack crimson, Remy figured they’d been on this tangent for the last hour or so.

“What the FUCK do you mean ‘knives don’t do shit’?! It’s a fucking KNIFE, dipshit! What the fuck is a spoon gonna do!?”

Virgil yanked the cereal from Remus and began pouring him a proper bowl, to which the messy man scoffed, “Virge, you’re not thinking about the bigger picture!”

“What bigger picture?! We’re talking about which would be best in a casual alleyway fight, right?! Just bring a goddamn knife!”

Ah. 

Context. 

Gotta love it.

Remy walked undetected past the two of them to go digging in the hall closet dryer for his favourite shirt while his father made his case.

“That’s predictable, babe! You’re not thinking about the psychology of it, Virge!”, Remus protested, “Look, any bozo can grab a knife, big deal! Your chances of being intimidating with that alone are, what, four in ten?!”, he bullshitted, gesticulating wildly as he picked up a spoon, wielding it like a cutlass, “But if you pick a spoon!? Thats like saying “Hey I’m fuckin’ crazy”!! I’m not gonna go up against the mother fucker that picks a spoon! You know how crazy that looks!?”

“Very much so, yeah.”, Virgil deadpanned, making direct eye contact with Remus who returned that glare with a wink.

“Careful, last time you gave me that look, we had to start buying baby clothes.”

Virgil scoffed, but it was hard to hide the exhausted smirk they bore, “Oh fuck you. Take your cereal and sit down.”

Remus did neither of those things, instead wrapping his arms around Virgil’s waist and pulling them closer, “I mean, if you wanna-“

“Like, maybe we can keep the horny out of the kitchen?”, Remy piped up, watching his ren damn near leap out of their skin while his father burst into laughter.

“No promises!”, Remus jested, taking the bowl of cereal Virgil had made for him and downing it like he was chugging cheap beer at a frat party. Virgil sighed in exhaustion but gestured for Remy to have a seat at the table, “So, how’d your first soulmate dream go, Rem? Did you get a name?”

Remy slung himself into his usual seat at the table, “Yeah. His name’s Emile Picani.”

The immediate silence was palpable for a second, even Remus didn’t dare make a sound when Virgil spoke up, “Remus, wasn’t your ex’s name Janus Picani?”

Remy hadn’t seen his father in a flight or fight situation like this before; sure there was this one time in WalMart, but he didn’t have a melon baller, two packs of toilet paper, and a plunger at hand like that time. Instead, his father was armed only with a banana he had snatched from the fruit bowl and taken a bite of. With the peel still on. Speaking with his mouth full and earning a disgusted eye roll from his partner, Remus finally managed to offer a response.

--

“It’s probably not the same guy.”

Janus Picani unknowingly echoed his ex boyfriend under his breath, inaudible to his son. 

Of all the names Emile could’ve given, why’d the surname have to be Duke? He had never told his husband Patton about the whole ex-boyfriend thing; Janus thought it best no one ever knew lest he be judged harshly. Sure, he’d never exactly cared what others thought - and many did share his opinion that holding off ANY romantic or sexual activity until you met your soulmate wasn’t always entirely healthy or doable - but the idea of Patton possibly being let down or upset by the news…

Janus didn’t want to think about it. No, he wouldn’t entertain the thought. After all, he had breakfast to make, fried eggs to watch over, toast to be ready to butter when it popped up.

Besides, Duke was probably a common surname, right? 

Probably. 

Maybe.. 

Hopefully.

“Did Remy tell you where he lives, sweetie? We can always drive you over to meet him after school if it’s close enough!”, Patton chirped excitedly from the seat next to his son, unknowingly setting Janus even more on edge. 

Please say he’s across the country. Please say he’s in another state. Please say he’s ANYWHERE but close by-

“Oh, we’re making a game of it!”

Janus’ curiosity peaked, but his anxiety remained on hold just in case.

“Every time we meet, we get to ask one yes or no question, then whoever guesses the other’s location first wins! Isn’t that exciting!?”

His enthusiasm was contagious. Patton was practically bouncing in his chair, “Oh that’s so cute!! It’s just like a romcom!”, he began, then corrected, “Oh, unless you’re both platonic, don’t worry kiddo, that’s fine too-”

“Thanks popstar, but I um,”, Emile flushed a little, hiding in his pastel yellow cardigan, “I really like him. I know it’s dumb ‘cause we only just met but… but he’s so cool!”

Janus listened in on his son’s adorable recounting of the encounter; how the two had talked about cartoons for hours, and the oddity of Remy flickering back and forth from the soulscape at first. The curiosity in Janus won out as he finished cooking their breakfast and brought their plates to the table. 

“He sounds like a lovely young man,”, Janus led with, hoping to at least quell some of his fears, “Do we get to know what he looks like, perhaps?”

Patton gasped excitedly, “Yessss!! Then if we pass him on the street, we can say hello!”

Thankful for Patton’s backup, if not for the same reasons, Janus nodded and Emile enthusiastically took out his notebook to start trying to draw his soulmate from memory,

“Well, he’s got really gorgeous eyes! And lots of freckles!-”

His pencils were almost combusting at the sheer speed Emile was working up the more he got excited about his soulmate. His fathers both unknowingly thought back to his adoption; he’d been so shy at first, barely able to look either of them in the eye, but after just a couple of weeks being allowed to express himself creatively in ways he hadn’t been able to do before with his birth parents, Emile had grown into the same excitable young lad they were watching right that second. Wordlessly, Patton slid his hands into Janus’ hold, who sweetly returned the loving gesture with a soft lacing of their fingers together. 

They were inches from leaning in for a kiss momentarily before Emile excitedly announced that he was done, “This is him! Isn’t he the coolest?!”

Janus scanned the drawing, noting both his son’s artistic talent and feeling a small burst of relief. The kid didn’t resemble Remus at all. For now at least he could sleep easy knowing he wouldn’t have to face his ex again.

--

Janus ate his words three months later.

Emile and Remy had continued to meet within their dreams, playing their guessing game as always until, thanks to Patton’s help, he managed to guess close enough to Remy’s location. True to his word, Remy had given Emile the address and lo and behold, they were only a couple of miles away from each other.

Janus couldn’t say he wasn’t happy for them, he was thrilled in fact. However, as he stood at the front door of Remy’s parents house staring at the face of his ex boyfriend, he couldn’t deny the urge he had to run away immediately. The moment of silence was unbearable. Perhaps he could pretend he didn’t know- “Well shit, it IS you, Snake Face!”

Nevermind.

Janus resisted the urge to scratch at the eczema that adorned the left half of his face, clearing his throat, “It’s good to see you too, Remus.”

Patton and Emile were shocked by the revelation, while Virgil and Remy were entirely unphased. Though Remy was certainly more preoccupied by his soulmate.

Emile was so much cuter in person; his jade green eyes, his honey skin, the cute puff of purple hair, the dorkiest Disney themed sweater Remy had ever seen. It took him a second to realise he was staring too long and blocking the door.

“Oh, uh, come in or whatever, babes.”

He reached out to lead his soulmate into the house, followed by a gaggle of awkward parents.

“So, Jan, darling,”, Patton piped up, “How do you and um-“

“Remus!”, the man grinned.

“You and Remus know each other?”

Janus was about to answer with a well crafted lie when Remus beat him to the punch, “Oh! Dee’s my ex!”

The immediate silence that followed from all six occupants of the house was so much worse than Janus had anticipated. Emile sported an expression of shock, and he didn’t want to hazard seeing Patton’s face. Seeing how disappointed he’d be that he’d lied to him-

“Oh! Well that was ….. Un-ex-pected!”, Patton punned, earning mostly groans but a hearty chuckle from Remus. Janus looked over to his husband, stunned to note that he didn’t seem angry. Perhaps he’d been worried over nothing after all. 

Virgil was first to speak up as they offered the others a seat on the sofa while Remy and Emile were excused to go play video games while the adults talked.

“So I take it you didn’t tell your..“, Remus stalled, hoping Patton would fill in the pieces.

“Husband.”

“Husband,”, Remus began, “that we used to hardcore date back in the day?”

Janus felt his stomach lurch as Patton shifted beside him; neither farther away nor closer to him. Perhaps that made it much worse. 

“In my defense, Remus, we both knew it wasn’t exactly anything serious-”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say. It was brief, but Janus noted the flash of disappointment in Remus’ eyes. Not exactly that of a hopeful ex lover realising they didn’t have a second chance, mind you. More so someone who clearly had wanted a close friendship, or at least SOME kind of meaningful relationship with the man he’d grown close to. 

Man, Janus felt like such a bastard.

“Apologies, Remus. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh-“

“It’s fine, Snake ‘n’ Flake,”, Okay maybe Janus didn’t feel too bad, “I mean, it stings a little but whatever. We both found our soulmates, so who cares about what we got up to on campus-”

Patton cleared his throat politely, but firmly, “Sorry to interrupt but um, Virgil, was it? How long had you known about it?”

Janus knew that expression; Patton’s “I want to know how much of a fool I’ve been” face was unmistakable. Maybe he was mad at Janus after all.

Virgil snorted, playing with their hoodie strings in a stimming gesture, “Dude, his opening line when we met was “I hope you don’t mind that this ass has some mileage on it.”. Remus doesn’t do subtlety.”

Maybe if Janus wished hard enough the floor would eat him alive. Patton gave a quiet, thoughtful nod and the conversation diverted unexpectedly after that. Not that Janus wasn’t relieved, but the way Patton seemed to pivot so quickly into another topic felt all too much like he was avoiding the whole thing. Janus may be a coward, but seeing his husband try to act like the information wasn’t hurting him was so much worse. He dug his phone out of his pocket and feigned surprise,

“... Would you excuse me, I have a missed business call, it won’t take a second.”

Virgil and Remus watched him go, Patton giving him the smallest nod in acknowledgement for now as the conversation swerved back into more parenting talk. 

Janus wasn’t sure how long Patton would give it before he came out to the front porch to talk; they’d had the system in place ever since they realised Emile would get curious and listen into their conversations sometimes. Missed business calls for Janus, another long catch up with his Aunt Patty for Patton. Both were code phrases for the same thing: we need to talk.

Patton had given it five minutes before he’d come to check in on Janus. The quietness of the surrounding neighbourhood let them indulge in the tinkling from an obviously homemade wind chime dangling above the porch.

“..... I was afraid you’d be disappointed in me.”, came Janus’ quiet admission under the warm sun rays that tickled his already partially dry skin, “Or worse. That you wouldn’t want me if I told you-”

“That’s ridiculous, Jan.”

Patton rarely interrupted anyone - purely out of politeness and the goodness of his heart - but he wouldn’t stand to hear his husband of eight years talk about himself that way, “If you keep talking bad about yourself I’m going to physically fight you.”

There was no bite to his words, but more a firm tone that settled Janus’ nerves somewhat.

“I suppose, but still. I understand that you’re most likely upset with me. I lied to you. And admittedly to Remus as well, but that’s-”

“I’m not upset.”

Pat gently caressed Janus’ rough cheek, paying his skin condition no mind as he reassured him, “I am a little disappointed.”, there’s the fatherly tone, “But none of this would ever be enough to make me leave you or anything if that’s what you were worried about. You’re stuck with me.”. Patton shot Janus a sunshine smile and the cutest blep he’d ever seen, to which the latter felt his heart positively melt, “And you’re stuck with a snake boy.”

The way Patton laughed ignited his bones and sent every nerve ending in his body soaring on high. By Gods, he loved him. Of course, Janus knew he loved Patton since they’d first met in their dreams - both being rather late to establish their connection at their early 20s - from the moment he’d laid eyes on him and heard the words, “Hey there! I’m sorry it took so long to meet you! I guess I was .... Patton-Pending!”. 

“Seriously, where’re all there snake jokes slithering their way out of?”

Janus held in a snort-laugh, “Ah, I used to own a pet snake in college. She escaped the first night I stayed in the dorms and caused a minor lockdown. Once I got her back, the nickname got spread around like wildfire thanks to Remus calling me Snake Face affectionately for months.”

Janus’ sigh screamed exhaustion, but his tone spoke of fondness. Patton chuckled sweetly, “At least he didn’t mean it in a mean way. Otherwise he’d be hiss-tory if I got a hold of him!”

Goddammit, Janus was weak for his husband’s awful puns. Stifling the belly laugh that wanted to break out of him in favour of a curt snort of amusement, “I can take care of myself, fangs you very much.”. Their mutual punning session went back and forth until a knock at the door behind them reminded the two that they weren’t at home. Virgil’s voice came from the other side of the door, 

“You both alright out there?”

Patton quickly called back, “Yep! We’ll be right back in a second!”

“Cool, I’m making hot cocoa, just lemme know how you like it once you’re done.”

Janus sighed and stood up. He already began to feel tense again, but Patton gently rose and took hold of his hands, 

“You should apologise to him, y’know. Remus, I mean.”, Patton clarified, “I know you noticed.”

Patton didn’t clarify further, he knew Janus knew what he meant. The way Remus had covered up how much what he’d said before hurt. Besides, he already had something to apologise to the eccentric trash rat for anyway so..

“I know. Can you keep Virgil company for me in the meantime?”

Patton nodded enthusiastically, “Of course! They promised to show me their tattoos later anyway!”

Janus wasn’t surprised his husband was enthralled by something so artsy, chuckling softly to himself as he and Patton rejoined the others only to walk in on the Dukes rather intensely making out just shy of the kitchen island. Patton averted his eyes while Janus rolled his and just cleared his throat undeterred. 

“I do hope we’re not interrupting anything.”

Just like this morning, Virgil nearly leapt out of their skin and embarrassedly ushered Remus out of the kitchen. Patton decided to swap in and help Virgil prep the drinks, while Janus sat with Remus in the living room once again.

“I owe you an apology, Remus.”, Janus took a deep breath in, “Actually, I owe you two.“

He hazarded a look at Remus, anticipating perhaps shock or surprise, but instead the human embodiment of a muscle cramp was trying to sit upside down on the sofa next to Janus. If he were honest, Janus was more disappointed in himself for not assuming Remus would be the same mangey gremlin he’d been used to.

“You’re aware I’m attempting to be serious?”

“Yep.”

“And you’re going to continue sitting like that?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you aware that talking to you is like attempting to win a game of “But Why?” with a three year old?” 

“Mhm!”

Janus massaged his temples and Remus, thankfully, relented. He didn’t remove himself from the seat and sit like a human being, he simply flicked Janus in the side.

“You act like I’m a bitch to talk to, but fucking hell, cutting the umbilical cord was less taxing than this.”

The snarky remark did get a chortle out of Janus, “Ah, then Remy’s..?“

“Yep! Fresh outta my insides!”, Remus cackled. Janus rolled his eyes. 

“Charming.”

“Nah, that’s my brother, I’m more….. the Demented type.”

“I’m aware,”, Janus retorted, “I remember having to drag you across campus to get your stomach pumped after the Everything Cocktail you downed at the annual Halloween Party.”

Remus let out a barking laugh and nearly slid off the sofa, “In my defense, the hot sauce, caramel, chicken strip, coffee, shrimp, marinara sauce, peanut butter, and six spoons of… was it horseradish or mayo?”

“Horseradish.”, Janus shuddered.

“That’s the bitch.”, Remus continued, “They weren’t so bad. The celery was what fucking sucked ass. And the carrots.”

Ah, the nostalgia. 

Granted, the trip down memory lane was the most wonderful mix of chaotic and bumpy, but the longer he took to address the issue, the worse Janus felt. He must’ve let his expression slip because Remus immediately stopped his rambling and finally let out a tired exhale,

“Listen, if what you said earlier is still eating at you like a piranha in your gut, then it’s fine. Really. I mean sure, it sucked cactus dick knowing you didn’t feel as serious about us as I did at the time, but-”

“It wasn’t true.”, Janus cut in, “What I’d said. I was trying to soften the impact, I suppose. You did and still honestly do mean a lot to me, Remus.”

There’s the shock he’d expected. Remus’ eyes were trained fully on Janus, waiting for a sign of deceit, but thankfully, he detected nothing.

“Huh. Cool.”

It was pretty lackluster, but Janus could tell Remus was glad. At least for now.

“Actually, I wouldn’t get too comfortable yet, I have another apology to issue. Or, I suppose, another lie to set right.”

Oh boy. Janus inhaled, he’d gotten this far. No backing out now.

“When we broke up, I told you it was simply because I didn’t want to date you anymore. Then the week after, my soulmate miraculously appeared in my dreams. But that was a two faced lie.”

Remus cocked his head to the side, wincing while he tried to shuffle around and get comfy due to his gravity defying seating arrangement.

“So…. what happened for real?”

Janus sighed, “.... The week before we broke up, I met him in my dreams. Patton just appeared, and I fell in love instantly. I… I felt awful. Like I was cheating on both of you-”

“Jan-”

“Please, Remus, let me finish.”

Remus sighed, crossing his arms, which looked rather comical when upside down.

“I know you and I always said there’d be no shame if the connection eventually happened to emerge, yet when I saw him there for the first time I just-”

“You felt guilty anyway.”

It was Janus’ turn to be surprised as Remus finally rolled off of the sofa to climb back on and sit… less like a cryptid.

“Same thing happened the first time I saw Virgil.”

Remus snickered at the further shocked expression Janus sported.

“Yeah, I know. Me, King Garbage, Lord of the Thots, no brains or remorse…. feeling guilty. But I get it. It’s really different the first time you see ‘em. Either way, you shouldn’t feel bad for feeling worried or being scared, Snake Face. Although it does hurt like a skewered ballsack that you lied to me about it though. So..”

In retaliation for such a heinous crime, Remus reached over and grabbed Janus’ fancy lil hat, and with a practiced ease that had his ex both enraged and astonished, ring tossed the thing through the small opening in the window, landing it in the small decorative bird bath just outside.

“...... Remus Duke, before I beat the everloving shit out of you for old times sakes,”, Janus uttered lowley, threatening but with a familiar fondness that reminded Remus of their days causing havoc on campus and speed bullshitting essays like it was their birthright, “I want you to know that that little stunt was incredibly impressive...”

--

Upstairs, oblivious to the conversation and scuffle their fathers were enthralled in, Remy and Emile had mostly been playing games, watching cartoons and chatting away together. They’d just put on some Adventure Time when Emile looked over at Remy, noting he was falling asleep. Emile considered trying to do the same to surprise him in their dream space when Remy jolted back awake.

“Oh shit, how long was I out babes?”

Emile shook his head, “Not long. Does… that happen often?”

“Like, all the time. My sleep cycle is a roulette wheel, I’m sure of it.”, Remy lamented, shuffling closer to Emile on the edge of the bed, carefully not to knock over his laptop.

“Do you think our parents are getting along? I’m gonna like, throw hands if they ruin things with their adult bullshit.”

Emile shyly shuffled closer, leaning his head upon Remy’s, who savoured the feel of the slightly taller boy’s coiled hair against his forehead. Downstairs, Emile could hear a scuffle alongside his Papa’s worried attempts to calm down whatever was happening, and began to recognise Virgil’s annoyed interjections. He wasn’t too distressed however; his father’s upbeat tone and what sounded like Remus’ maniacal cackle assured him there was probably nothing to be worried about.

“Something tells me they’re getting along just fine.”, Emile smiled brightly at Remy, “How about one more episode then we can go check?”

----

Hoooly shit this took ages.

I promise I’m workin to catch up, I’m gonna do this or die tryin’!! For small clarifications:

- Virgil is NB/Agender and uses They/Them

- Remus is a Trans Man and uses He/Him

I didn’t specify much for the other characters purely because I could see them being anywhere on the gender spectrum, they can be whatever you prefer to read them as.

I really dunno how well this one read if I’m honest, it just kept branching from cute Remile focused fic to Families’ First Meeting kinda thing???

@tsshipmonth2020

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